Some of my favorite episodes of EWTN’s The Journey Home program have been interviews with couples who came home to the Catholic Church together; couples who navigated not only the apologetic and doctrinal questions from their respective backgrounds, but who, by God’s grace, were able to do so as a team and in such a way that their marriage was strengthened as a result.
One of my favorite examples of this is the testimony of Deacon Gregory and Ellen Amarante, who I was blessed to meet and interview in 2024. They shared how when Gregory first told Ellen that he had been studying and now desired to return to the Catholic Faith of his youth, she was shocked and heartbroken at the prospect. The two had a deep and loving marriage and cared deeply about their shared faith, but because of her strong Baptist roots and family experiences, the idea of her husband wanting to become Catholic was world-shattering. So much so that she took the kids and went to stay with her sister for three weeks.
After both of them had had time to pray and consider, Ellen returned home ready to re-engage and reconcile, but with this request: Because she found the notion of becoming Catholic so unthinkable and thus the questions so potentially all-consuming, she asked her husband that they begin having what they called “Theology Tuesdays”. One night a week on Tuesdays, they would put the kids to bed early and spend time patiently talking about every possible question, concern, and objection to the Catholic Church that she could think of. Then at the end of the evening, they agreed to put the questions away until next week, allowing each other time to pray and process, but also so that they could focus on continuing to live out their marriage and family prayerfully, faithfully, and fruitfully. “Theology Tuesdays” ended up being a huge blessing and turning-point in their story, as it allowed them to slowly tackle the questions together, while growing even stronger as a couple. Eventually Ellen was ready to join the Church with her husband.
I love Gregory and Ellen’s story, first of all, because such stories may offer a needed word of hope and encouragement to some of our members facing conflict in marriage and other close family/friend relationships as the result of their journey toward Catholicism. But I also love these kinds of stories because they are a reminder that even during moments of crisis, change, and uncertainty, we must keep first things first in our lives. We have many members of the Coming Home Network who are at just such moments of change and uncertainty in their faith journey. Some have had their hearts and minds opened to Catholicism and are trying to figure out how to take the next steps to move forward. Others have already become Catholic and are now trying to learn the ropes and discern how to use their gifts. And of course all of us have and will face times of change and uncertainty in life, during which the questions and stresses can feel nearly all- consuming. At such times and throughout the journey, we must keep first things first: Prayer & our relationship with God, on the one hand, and carrying out the duties of love toward the people He has given us on the other.
Such stories are a reminder that while the journey to the Catholic Church can involve a lot of the “head” knowledge and activity—reading the Early Church Fathers, rethinking doctrinal positions, challenging anti-Catholic assumptions and prejudices, etc—all of this is ultimately for the heart—for love. Our faith at its most essential is not an intellectual exercise but a matter of love. Jesus’ summary of all the law and the prophets remains as true now as it was 2000 years ago: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind…You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39).
While there are many reasons and ways to approach and answer the questions “Why should I become Catholic?”, they can all ultimately be boiled down to love. The Body of Christ, the Church, is the way, cleared, paved and prepared by Christ Himself to allow us to experience the Father’s love. He founded His Church and guides it by the Holy Spirit into all truth, in order to communicate His divine love to His people through prayer and sacrament, and then to teach and empower us to love as He loves. It is this love—this Charity without which we are merely “clanging gongs and clashing cymbals” (1 Corinthians 13:1)—that our faith and hope are all, ultimately about. Becoming Catholic, if you walk the journey patiently with the Holy Spirit, should be a journey that draws you closer to Jesus in prayer and helps you to love more purely and courageously the people God has put into your life.
Sometimes in life the question “What is truth?” can threaten to consume us and even tempt us to place the search for the answers before what we already know to be true and is most important. However, it is in keeping first things first—a daily, determined life of prayer and carrying out the duties of love to which God calls us— that we will have hearts and minds that will truly be open and receptive to the fullness of truth to which God wants to lead us. And when we keep those first things first, we simply do not know the ways God may work in and through us to bring other people closer to Him.
