| Author | Post |
|---|
Traveler
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jun 8th, 2007 |
| Location: | Prairie Du Chien, Wisconsin USA |
| Posts: | 19 |
| First Name: | Jean | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | North American Baptist, Evangelical Free |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 14th, 2008 02:10 pm |
|
Hi, I have another Protestant question. This Easter my daughter will join the Catholic Church. Her husband of one year is a Catholic, however I am satisfied that she is joining with ‘her eyes wide open’ not just joining because her husband is a member. A little side note, recently some good friends of mine joined the Catholic Church. Their decision and my respect for their Christian walk is what has led me to investigate the beliefs of the Catholic Church. So that is how my daughter escaped the freak–out she would have had to deal with if she has made this choice a few years ago. However, here is my question. From my experience other Catholic activities (baptism, first communion) are occasions for parties, gifts, etc. What is the proper response to this occasion? I plan to attend and I think my ex-husband (lapsed Catholic) will also attend. Do I get a gift; take her and her husband out for dinner? If I do should I include her sponsor? I am guessing one answer will be that I can do whatever I want, however I would like to do things right.
Thanks inadvance for the advice,
|
|
|
sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 842 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 14th, 2008 03:12 pm |
|
I admire you for avoiding the "freak Out" having joined the church last year and still dealing with the "freak out" effects from extended family and former fellow church mates I think a small gift would be nice- I was given a lovely Rosary and a nice cross. A certificate to her local Catholic store might also be nice. Dinner out would also be nice. I really applaud your desire to help your daughter make this an occasion to remember.
|
|
|
Jackie
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 12th, 2007 |
| Location: | Jersey Shore, New Jersey USA |
| Posts: | 120 |
| First Name: | Jackie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 14th, 2008 03:16 pm |
|
Well hello there Jean. What a pleasant disposition you have regarding the journey your daughter is taking to the Catholic Faith. May you be an example to us that charity is not uncommon when family or friends are moved by God toward something other than what we might "think" is proper or True.
May you continue with that God given grace.
Yes, a gift would not be frowned upon but could show support and encouragement for this special occassion. Let me stress though, that the Church sees some of these occassions (ie Baptism/First Holy Communion) as Sacraments not activities. Activities would be reserved for Youth Group or Craft Ladies programs although they may be Spiritual enrichment activities.
I might suggest going to a gift shop at a local Catholic Church (most have them) and purchase a gift such as a Catholic Dictionary or Catechism of the Catholic Church. As she deepens her faith there might be words or subject areas she would like to expound upon. Perhaps a prayer card or a book about a Saint she shares the same name with? Her sponsor might like a thank-you card from her for the time they spent together but again this is not a necessary thing. Your heart should move you in generosity just like it has in charity. You already sound like a great mom. Happy Valentines Day!!
As for a party, it depends on if she would like her entrance into the Church to be marked quietly or with a celebration. Like birthdays, some of us don't want to "mark" our birthdays with a party but I'm of the ilk, celebrate it for all it's worth, LIFE IS SHORT.
Blessing and Peace Jackie
|
|
|
Kayla
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jul 30th, 2007 |
| Location: | Emmitsburg, Maryland USA |
| Posts: | 369 |
| First Name: | Kayla | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Atheist, kind-of Mormon, Catholic |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 14th, 2008 03:25 pm |
|
I would just like to mention that I was in your daughter's situation last year, with parents not exactly loving the idea of me joining the Church, but they both did come.
My parents gave me a nice card and my mom bought me a gold cross for the occasion. The gifts, while nice, were not what meant the most to me, but what they signified. The gifts showed me that my parents truly loved me and supported me, despite their disagreement. I treasure those gifts most dearly.
So, at least from my experience, I think a nice gift would be a good idea. It will mean more to your daughter than you'll expect.
____________________
I believe, Lord, help my unbelief.
Jesus, I trust in You!
There's not a lot of job security for us after death. I suppose that's one advantage of being a philosopher. - Peter Kreeft
http://kayla23mount.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1224 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
| Status: |
Online
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 14th, 2008 05:07 pm |
|
Hi, Jean,
At my parish the practice is for persons being confirmed to provide some form of refreshments or a reception after the confirmation. Having survived five years of widowhood and the challenges of embracing Catholicism, I was ready to party (and I'm not a party girl  ) upon finally being confirmed, and also wanted to express my gratitude to a community of priests and members of the laity who had been very patient and generous with me.
Already a baptized Christian, I entered the church after Easter in a private morning Mass. So I had a nice breakfast catered in the parish hall following the confirmation. It was expensive, but what joy it gave me after five very painful years. That evening I took my catechist (parish priest was also invited), my sponsor, and a local lady who contributed much to my formation, and my family to dinner and gave gifts to the priests and the "two sponsors." I was flying and hated to see the evening end. What joy!
If funds are limited, cookies and beverages would be fine. When multiple persons are confirmed, families cooperate in planning the refreshments at our parish. That's much less expensive for everyone.Last edited on Thu Feb 14th, 2008 05:20 pm by Intercessor
____________________
"The perfection of a soul may be measured by the degree to which it does the will of God, and finds its happiness in doing it.... O my God,...the only thing necessary is Your holy will," Divine Intimacy, pp. 15-16 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
|
|
|
CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5348 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 14th, 2008 05:51 pm |
|
I dont' think there is a particular "right" action. A lot depends on the culture. It is a very big deal in Hispanic families, but not such an event in French families. It certainly deserves to be noted, but you'll have to decide whether just a gift or a dinner is appropriate. If her sponsor was truly involved and not just a body placed there because she had to have one, then she definitely should be included. And if you send plane tickets, I'll show up too!
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
|
|
|
Traveler
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jun 8th, 2007 |
| Location: | Prairie Du Chien, Wisconsin USA |
| Posts: | 19 |
| First Name: | Jean | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | North American Baptist, Evangelical Free |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2008 01:37 pm |
|
Jackie wrote: the Church sees some of these occassions (ie Baptism/First Holy Communion) as Sacraments not activities.
Yes, Sacraments is the word I should have used. The correct word escaped me when I was writing.
Thank you for all your great answers as usual. I have learned that her Catholic in-laws will be in town for Easter so I think as far as dinner, etc I will let them take the lead. However I will look for a suitable gift.
From reading some of the other posts, I am glad to report that my daughter had a very positive RCIA experience. She likes her sponser and the whole group attended a Christian Experience Weekend that she thought was great. In fact she told her husband about a Christian Experience Weekend for men and he is planning to attend next weekend. Seeing this in their lives (along with a better understanding about what the Catholic Church teaches) makes it simple to be encouraging about my daughter's journey. Many parents see their children get out of college and wonder away from God. Anything that draws her closer is an answer to prayer as far as I am concerned.
Thanks again for the input.
|
|
|
heardclarke
Member
| Joined: | Mon Apr 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 199 |
| First Name: | Lisa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Episcopalian; confirmed RC Easter 2005 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2008 09:02 pm |
|
Dear Traveler,
Just a quick note--the most helpful gift I received (though somewhat after my confirmation) was a missal book of my own. It contains the scripture readings and litugical themes for each day of the Church year. Mine also has beautiful prayers in the back of it, and I have found that these prayers express my unspoken needs and wishes most effectively when I have needed help.
The Catholic Church has so many traditions that I was not very familiar with when I was first confirmed. Using the missal has really given me a great resource. If you do not want to get a missal or cannot find one you are sure she would like, a Catholic prayer book would be great anyway.
Some have suggested a rosary and that is aso a great gift, but your daughter's mother-in-law or someone else from their side of the family may well have one of those to give her--possibly one that has been in the family for a while.
It's so great that you can be supportive at this time. My parents were OK (but a bit lukewarm) with my conversion from the Episcopal church in 2005. They did not come to my confirmation (they live 4 hours away). They did come to my daughter's first communion in 2006 and are probably coming to my son's this spring.....and that is enough for me. I am content.
Love,
Lisa
____________________
Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.
|
|
|
BodRod
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 812 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 17th, 2008 03:02 am |
|
| I think a gift, such as a Crucifix or Rosary would be appropriate. I am on my Journey by myself so I bought myself a nice Rosary. My daughter's boss heard of my joining and she sent me a very nice card with a hand written message in it. Then she helped my daught by a Rosary for me that came in a little leather travel pouch. She even helped my daughter get it blessed for me. Needless to say, I appreciated the card and the gift very much and I treasure them both.
____________________
Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
|
|
|
bjbouwer
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Wisconsin USA |
| Posts: | 54 |
| First Name: | Bonnie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Christian Scientist, pinball Christian, RCC in 2006 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 17th, 2008 03:38 pm |
|
When I joined, it seemed very lonely - nobody was interested, even though this was one of the biggest decisions and changes in my life.
A couple of months later, I simply hosted my own First Communion and Confirmation party - these sacraments both happened the night I joined the Church. Don't kids usually have big parties for these sacraments?
____________________
Bonnie in WI
|
|
|
CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5348 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 17th, 2008 09:35 pm |
|
bjbouwer wrote: Don't kids usually have big parties for these sacraments?
Not in my area. First Communion and Confirmation usually involve dozens of students at a time,and they're mostly classmates. Instead they'll most often have small family dinners, or go out to eat together, or something like that.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
|
|
|
Connie
User on Probation
| Joined: | Fri Jun 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 71 |
| First Name: | Connie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic Convert from Presbyterian, then Episcopalian |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 17th, 2008 09:48 pm |
|
Hi Traveler:
I say do anything you feel like doing, or giving. Go with your gut. There's no right or wrong answer.
Isn't it wonderful you're daughter is "coming home"???? Praise God!!!
My son also joined the Church after me last Easter. We're the only 2 Catholics in our huge family since the Reformation I do believe. God has mighty things planned~~~
God Bless You
____________________
~Connie~
|
|
|
Current time is 07:32 am | |
|
|
