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sewnsew
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 842 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 02:28 am |
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Sheesh as soon as one teenager gets on board the other falls off. No my DD who was the first willing to become Catholic now is in tears. We went to the 5 pm Mass which is really painful music wise- the microphones were making that squealing noise the whole time. Even the main Mass with the choir is kind of sad since no one sings. Anyhow, she doesn't want to go back to either of our oldr churches- the Anglican one becuase the priest there gives her the creeps - he tries to hug them( not alone- during the peace and social hour) and she hates it THAT give ME the creeps so I don't want her there The Episcopal one becuase both the Rector and the music director retired around the same time. They both had been with the church since before my kids were born. She is now saying that she doesn't need "organized religion" and that she has learned more form the youth group leader than she ever learned in Church. My Husband who has been reasonalby good through out all this (he was brought up Southern Baptist but calls himself agnostic) smirked and said well I guess they will both learn the truth soon- that it is all BS which made ME mad- guess I will go sew and try to calm down myself. 
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Credo Catholic
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| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1382 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 02:45 am |
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| Kim, it sounds like she is still going for the surroundings only: the youth group, good music, a "perfect" mass. As a teenager she might swing back and forth like this for awhile until it connects with her inner self. When it clicks that the Eucharist is there for her no matter what else is going on, hopefully that will make it more appealing.
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Intercessor
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1223 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 02:58 am |
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Kim, bless your heart. I will say a prayer that tomorrow is better. 
Keep the faith,
Becky
____________________
"The perfection of a soul may be measured by the degree to which it does the will of God, and finds its happiness in doing it.... O my God,...the only thing necessary is Your holy will," Divine Intimacy, pp. 15-16 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 842 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 03:19 am |
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Thank you both I am starting to feel a little better already- though I just laid down the law to the "menfolk" in this household about a project that the family will be doing in July at my DH's family reunion that they have been scoffing at- one of the SIL's asked about making an album quilt with everyone's signature. Needless to say I am the one to organize supplies etc for this little project and they have been semi seriously making comments that "men don't do quilts" Needless to say tonight WAS NOT the night to say one word My family knows that I can be pushed and pushed and pushed until a certain point then everyone scurries around to soothe the waters. What makes me laugh when I am alone is that I not shouting, nothing violent at all but for some reason when I do put my foot down everyone on my side of the family knows that I have had it. I should probably do it a littel more often but then it may not work as well
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Robert
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 12th, 2007 |
| Location: | Germany |
| Posts: | 118 |
| First Name: | Robert | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | The whole spectrum from black to white, now 100% Catholic! |
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 12:40 pm |
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"men don't do quilts"
That sounds about right, isn’t that in Gen 51:15? Or was that 3 Samuel 3:55?
____________________
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15)
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 842 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 01:04 pm |
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| HA
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 842 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 08:14 pm |
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Kim, it sounds like she is still going for the surroundings only: the youth group, good music, a "perfect" mass. As a teenager she might swing back and forth like this for awhile until it connects with her inner self. I sure hope so
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Truthseeker
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | Costa Mesa, California USA |
| Posts: | 375 |
| First Name: | Laura | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | lapsed and returned CATHOLIC!!!!!! |
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Posted: Tue Jun 24th, 2008 01:37 am |
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I know how hard it is to want your children to worship with you and they don't want to. My 16 year old has decided that God doesn't matter at all (you all know the trouble she's been - that continues on and on). Then, when I finally stopped making her go to Mass, my 13 year old started moping about going to Mass, and picking her nails the whole time, and refusing to participate at all. So, I finally stopped making her go, and now my youngest (almost 12) is telling me that church isn't fun, and it's boring. So, she goes to please me, but I don't know how long that will last.
I have such empathy for the struggle inside your heart about this! I will pray for your daughter, as I pray for my own.
Love, Laura
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Lord, please make my will your Will!
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january tuesday
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| Joined: | Fri Apr 4th, 2008 |
| Location: | Minneapolis, MN |
| Posts: | 41 |
| First Name: | Karli | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Evangelical Free, Baptist, Roman Catholic (2008) |
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Posted: Tue Jun 24th, 2008 07:39 pm |
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it's good for me to read this, as a young person on the other side of this problem. my parents struggle so much with my decision to become Catholic, (they are devout Evangelicals), and I often wish they would just let me be and let me make my own decisions. reading this helps me see that it is hard for them.
as the "wayward" young person, all I can suggest is to be patient. I think what your kids are most likely looking for is their own answers, and sometimes you need a little space to figure things out. Forcing them to go to church won't help, and getting upset with them won't help either. Show them that you trust them with their own spirituality, and encourage them to think about it deeply. I think another thing to do is to be very honest with them. Share about your own spiritual journey, times when you had doubts and why and how you overcame those doubts.
I think it's a good thing that your children want to figure this out for themselves. I did not grow up Catholic, but I imagine that it is especially difficult to be a teenage Catholic in a predominately Protestant country. they probably face a lot of opposition. Another thing you can do is share resources with them. Ask them what issues they are struggling with in the Church and offer them articles that give answers. Give them some tools to work out their questions.
But most of all, respect them. When my parents get upset with me I stop talking. I can talk with them when they listen to what I have to say and discuss the issues with me rather than yelling at me. The best way to get your kids to talk to you is to really listen.
I'll be praying for you and your kids!
-Karli
____________________
"Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 842 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Tue Jun 24th, 2008 08:56 pm |
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Karli,
Thanks for your input- as one much closer in age and perspective to her it helps me see the other side. I will say this- our issues over church haven't been arguments really- discussions but no real heavy duty arguing. She has been allowed to continue to go with her original youth group.- as much as I would prefer to see her join the Catholic one. So far any how Church attendance has been non negotiotiable except for a month's moratorium on attendance at their (our) old church to help give them space to decide where they wanted to go. In fact my husband agreedt to take them to the old church while I went to Mass at the Catholic church for 10 months- then they took the moratorium and decided that they wanted to attend with me. Their are 2 churches involved in this dilemma- the original Episcopal church and the "new" Anglican church that broke away- the kids were heavily pressuered to join the Anglican one by people like their Sunday school teacher and "Acolyte mom" however my DD continued to attend the youth group at the old church becuase she had friends whose parents stayed Episcopal. I am willing to let her be dropped off at friend's home that would take her to the Anglican church(she doesn't wasnt that- I think all though she won't admit it there was some very vocal protests made by that church about my Catholism) I have also offered for the family to drop her off at the early service at the Episcopal church- for us it would mean leaving 1/2 hour earlier to make the detour and for her it would mean sitting and waiting about 1/2 hour after the service ended till we could pick her up. With gas and considering how far we live out of town her Dad has said that he doesn't want an extra round trip just for her to attend her prefered 10:30 service.
As for tools to help her with her struggle- unfortunately it is less of belief since they were brought up Anglo Catholic but the difference in Liturgy, the lack of congregational singing ( ours stinks really- no one sings and she really tried but it is hard when all you hear is the choir in the loft and your own voice) many of the hymns are different and the lack of socail hour after Mass- even that she could live with if one person stopped and engaged us in conversation but there is a steady exodus after the Eucharist which grows into a stampede after the recessional- no one even waits through the last hymn. We went from a small parish of about 300 Episcopals to about 7,000 Catholics. I have tried to tell her that when she leaves our small town for colleege and perhaps for good that there are many many more Catholic Churches out there and that many of them have the music that she is looking for etc. I think that a Charismatic parish would suit her nicely-out of the 6 parishes in this community ( two are more than 20 miles away) none are Charismatic and all of them are heavily Hispanic and tend to be very closed towards socializing with non family members. The journey home this week had two English converts talking about the quality of the music- I didn't hear all of the first man's interview but the part I did hear echoed what we are finding so I may ask her to liten to the archive when it becomes available tomorrow.
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january tuesday
Member
| Joined: | Fri Apr 4th, 2008 |
| Location: | Minneapolis, MN |
| Posts: | 41 |
| First Name: | Karli | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Evangelical Free, Baptist, Roman Catholic (2008) |
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Posted: Tue Jun 24th, 2008 09:18 pm |
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ohhh, I see. Is there perhaps another Catholic church in your area that might be a little more friendly? sounds like that's all she's looking for. which is understandable, a major part of church is having a community.
____________________
"Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7
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sewnsew
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 842 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Tue Jun 24th, 2008 09:59 pm |
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| Unfortunately no- but as I keep pointing out to her this is a small insular town when she goes away to college things will change, which is why she should think about the beliefs rather than the externals of music etc.
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Tina in Ashburn
Member
| Joined: | Mon May 21st, 2007 |
| Location: | Ashburn, Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 281 |
| First Name: | Tina | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Roman Catholic, Ukranian Catholic, presently practicing as Roman Latin ... |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 01:36 am |
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Kim - coupla' days late but here's a hug for you anyway. Hope you get through this trial.
D'you spose this is less about religion than it is about being a teenage girl? Good luck with THAT, if it is. But, this too shall pass. Girls get over it around 18 or 19... boys? hmmm, maybe about 35 if you are lucky.
I'm glad to hear that going to church is a non-negotiable for them. The minute they detect a crack... they work on widening it!  You know how it is, didn't we do that too?
You are doing great and we love ya! I know you are doing the right thing even if your family pretends to think you aren't. Anyway, AAAAARGH! I feel for you.
-saying a prayer now 
____________________
Tina
Arlington Diocese
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EMarshallBuckles
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rockville (Near Richmond), Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 618 |
| First Name: | Marshall | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Christian Church,Episcopal Church,Baptist denomination,learning about RCC |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 03:49 am |
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Robert wrote: "men don't do quilts"
That sounds about right, isn’t that in Gen 51:15? Or was that 3 Samuel 3:55?
Um, I thought that it was in 5th John, Chapter 72, but, it's BOUND to be in the Bible somewhere!  Probably what the armies of Israel shouted before they attacked!
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EMarshallBuckles
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rockville (Near Richmond), Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 618 |
| First Name: | Marshall | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Christian Church,Episcopal Church,Baptist denomination,learning about RCC |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 03:52 am |
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| Well, at least your churches are not like one in the west end of the Richmond, VA area. It, apparently a protestant church, had a youth group which had turned into a criminal GANG and was using and selling drugs and getting involved in a lot of other criminal activity as well as beating up people. The police shut it down but there has been an ongoing investigation.
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