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MissMusicTeacher
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| Joined: | Mon Jun 30th, 2008 |
| Location: | Silicon Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 24 |
| First Name: | Laura | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | EVFree, Catholic seeker |
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Posted: Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 06:15 am |
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I'm only about a week into this journey of exploring the Catholic Church, but I am already feeling sad knowing that if I convert, I will lose so much. I believe my family will accept it, even if they disagree, but it is my dearest friends that concern me. I have friends that are anti-Catholic; we have never had an actual conversation about Catholicism, but I recall comments they made in the context of other conversations and if I convert, they will try to "re-convert" me and perhaps shun me. And then there is the wonderful young man at my church who I am getting to know. He wants to be a pastor - I doubt he would respond very well to any news of my conversion, if I choose to follow that path.
I try to think about all that I would gain by becoming Catholic...because I know there would be many good things...but it is still hard. Yet I know I am not alone; many of you here have endured this, and I also know that God will give me strength and peace if/when the time comes.
____________________
out of town until August 2
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BodRod
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Apple Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 824 |
| First Name: | Cliff | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Raised an SDA, then Generic Christian, finally at home with ... |
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Posted: Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 01:05 pm |
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Hi Laura,
I know a little of what you mean. "Been there, felt that!" My kids accepted my change easily, but my wife did not speak to me for days. When she did start talking to me, it sounded like she was thinking of leaving. (We had been married 49 years.) However, I knew I had made the correct decision for my life and for eternity, so while she fumed, I kept learning and trying to lead a Catholic Christian life.
My parish has 5 Masses a weekend so after RCIA, I visited the different Masses and I found that each one had its own "personality". I selected the one in which I felt the most comfortable and started attending. At first, the other attendees were polite, then they were friendly and now there is a lot of handshaking, even a little hugging followed with talking after Mass over coffee.
My feeling is that a person’s real friends will always be friends and the people who change over something, and are no longer friends, were never real friends in the first place.
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Gratias agamus Domino Deo nostro.
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tedjenczewski
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| Joined: | Thu May 10th, 2007 |
| Location: | Richmond, Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 306 |
| First Name: | Ted | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Presbyterian, revert Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 07:52 pm |
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| God bless you Laura as you undertake your journey. I suggest you prepare yourself by reading some of the books on Catholic apoligetics such as "Where is that in the Bible" and "Why is that in Tradition", both by Patrick Madrid and "The One-Minute Apologist" by Dave Armstrong. Armed with these resources you will be able to discuss the biblical and historical basis for Catholic doctrine with your friends. They will indeed see that faith leads to knowledge.
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"...the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth." 1Tim 3, 15
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David W. Emery
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 2260 |
| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Jul 4th, 2008 03:07 am |
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I recall thinking poignantly of this same difficulty when I was moving toward the Catholic Church. But my heart was set on the truth, and I pushed on.
Consider your journey of faith as moving to another city, Laura. You will be leaving behind the friends who live in the first city, but you will be meeting new people in the second who can, if you will allow it, become your friends in their stead.
Then perhaps one or another of your old friends will be given the grace and courage to visit you in your new home. Upon them God’s light will shine through you. What better gift could you give them?
David
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left coast mystic
Member
| Joined: | Sat May 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | La Honda, California USA |
| Posts: | 154 |
| First Name: | Marcee | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | nondenominational charismatic, Presbyterian, long-time lover of the RCC |
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Posted: Fri Jul 4th, 2008 04:16 am |
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There is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life. (Mark 10:29-30)
Laura - If you've read the thread about "if only one converts" and see how many of us (and many more beyond this community) have spouses who are not interested in or actively opposed to the Catholic church, you'll get a sense of how blessed you are that you are not encumbered in that way. Losing friends is something that we all experience in our lives - from many causes - yet there are always new friends to replace them. Losing family relationships is harder, but Jesus knew that when he made the promise quoted above. God's promises are trustworthy, and following Him wherever He leads is not only our highest calling and our greatest privilege but worth whatever pain comes with it.
By the way, a question that is continually on my mind these days is, why is the Catholic church the subject of so much hate and scorn, even by other Christians? It seems to me to be confirmation that the Catholic church is God's true church:
“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matt 5:11-12)
Marcee
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Godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Tim. 6:6)
In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength. (Isa. 30:15)
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1311 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Jul 4th, 2008 04:40 am |
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MissMusicTeacher wrote:
I'm only about a week into this journey of exploring the Catholic Church, but I am already feeling sad knowing that if I convert, I will lose so much. I believe my family will accept it, even if they disagree, but it is my dearest friends that concern me. I have friends that are anti-Catholic; we have never had an actual conversation about Catholicism, but I recall comments they made in the context of other conversations and if I convert, they will try to "re-convert" me and perhaps shun me. And then there is the wonderful young man at my church who I am getting to know. He wants to be a pastor - I doubt he would respond very well to any news of my conversion, if I choose to follow that path.
I try to think about all that I would gain by becoming Catholic...because I know there would be many good things...but it is still hard. Yet I know I am not alone; many of you here have endured this, and I also know that God will give me strength and peace if/when the time comes.
Courage and obedience, Laura, 
It's OK to be sad, anxious, or downright scared. Real courage is not an absence of fear (or blindness to the cost of a course of action). Rather, courage involves doing what one ought to do (obedience) in spite of the sadness, anxiety, or fear-- in spite of the high cost.
Following Christ is about dying to self, dying to one's own will, and forfeiting one's dreams or plans to the extent that God requires something different. You are allowed to mourn, to adjust and regroup. You will remember our suggesting earlier that you slow down a bit. Some people race ahead intellectually only to realize that the heart has not kept pace. God understands us and gives us time to process all the changes involved in entering the Church. He is patient, but we must learn to be patient with ourselves also.
Becoming a good Catholic (and it is my belief that you are headed for deep spiritual waters) involves every part of who you are. Your beliefs, your thinking patterns, your priorities, your perceptions, your nature must all be corrected, re-ordered, and purified--usually through suffering, Laura.
I say these things not to discourage you but to help you establish, from the beginning, a few core principles that can govern your decisions.
1. You must follow Truth wherever He leads you.
2. You will never find peace or joy in any person, relationship, job, circumstances, or state of life outside the will of God.
3. God is determined to sanctify you and will often use suffering as an effective tool.
4. Your purpose is to know, love, and serve God. The purpose is not to be spared deprivation, inconvenience, loneliness, rejection, humiliation.
5. As you mature in Catholic spirituality, you will increasingly crave union with God. That union is accomplished through complete, constant obedience to whatever He asks of you.
You are right, Laura, when you say that He will grant you strength and peace as you need it. Obedient, courageous surrender to whatever He asks of us brings unfathomable peace, joy, and love.
In His love,
Becky
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"He who will persevere unto the end is not he who will never fall, but he who after every fall will humble himself and rise again, relying on the infinite strength of God." Divine Intimacy, p. 885 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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JillD
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 853 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Fri Jul 4th, 2008 04:54 am |
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left coast mystic wrote: By the way, a question that is continually on my mind these days is, why is the Catholic church the subject of so much hate and scorn, even by other Christians? It seems to me to be confirmation that the Catholic church is God's true church:
Hi Marcee,
I've had the very same thought. The world doesn't hate Mormons or JW's as much as it hates Catholics. I guess it gives some fundamentalists a hard time, but not as consistently or rabidly. Really, it's weird what a rise you can get out of people when you mention the Catholic Church. It causes as many sparks to fly as do the topics of abortion and evolution.
Jill
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"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret." Ps 139
"Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men." Ps 140
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Hidden One
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| Joined: | Thu Feb 28th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 126 |
| First Name: | H1 | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | lax Presbyterian -> pseudo-Arminian non-denom -> heretical Presbyterian -> ... |
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Posted: Fri Jul 4th, 2008 04:58 pm |
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Trust in God.
The more you do, the easier it will be for you.
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1 John 4:7-12
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Steven Barrett
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 1162 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sat Jul 5th, 2008 04:17 am |
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Laura,
A wise man from Poland once greeted a large crowd saying "Be Not Afraid!" and the world hasn't been the same ever since.
Don't be afraid of losing a few friends along the way who are having some difficulty in coming to terms with your decision to explore Catholicism. Like and love them as you've never liked and loved them before and you'll be pleasantly surprised at their reaction in time.
You are not looking into any denomination or even a loca/regional popular non-denominational church. You're exploring the only Church that God established. The only one. This claim, and more than a few others we have -- and can convincingly prove the validity of -- is one of the reasons we're so despised.
Fine, and let the world despise us. Taking a secular example, I remember a story about FDR's harshest critics who constantly carped about his workl relief programs that didn't solve the New Deal right off the bat. FDR never expected them to in the first place. But the progams gave people the dignity of earning and having some money in their pockets to bring home, not to mention some hope for a future they'd lost for several years.
FDR's critics forgot all of that, but they, like the Pharisees of all generations, not just Christ's time, were ever ready with a raised eyebrow and a quick doubtful comment. FDR simply replied, "Judge me by the enemies I keep."
As Jill pointed out, Catholicism isn't an easy faith to move into in our society today. The Church's claims, canon laws, traditions, teachings, history long past and recent make it difficult. But as that wise Pole pointed out, it's best that we "be not afraid" and simply walk on faith in the very God and Church He established to feed, guide, teach and sanctify us through our lives.
I "came back" only because I realized I never left, and that was because once you realize the significance of the Lord's actual founding of the Catholic Church and none-other, you realize you have found the true home God's been keeping the light on and the front door unlocked for you all along.
Before I leave, allow me to suggest Cardinal Newman's final sermon as an Anglican priest in St. Mary the Virgin Church at Oxford University. You may also enjoy reading William F. Buckley's "Nearer My God: An Autobiography of Faith."
Keep seeking and posting with the Forum.
God Bless you, Laura.
Steven
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"This Old House's" motto is "Measure twice, cut once." My new motto is THINK at least twice or thrice, then you only have to write once, and maybe apologize nonce.
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 1845 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Mon Jul 7th, 2008 06:54 pm |
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I believe my family will accept it, even if they disagree, but it is my dearest friends that concern me. I have friends that are anti-Catholic; we have never had an actual conversation about Catholicism, but I recall comments they made in the context of other conversations and if I convert, they will try to "re-convert" me and perhaps shun me.
Hi Laura,
It can be very difficult indeed. I seem to have been spared most of this in my own journey (way back in 1990-1991) but it has been more than amply made up for in scurrilous personal attacks from anti-Catholics on the Internet. So all Catholics seem to have some cross to bear in this regard.
The main thought I had when I read this was that anyone who says beforehand that they will shun you if you believe such-and-such is truly no real friend at all, because they are not exercising the unconditional agape love that Christians are supposed to exhibit towards one another (and not even the rudimentary loyalty of a friend that any pagan could understand).
That's not a friend (at least not in my book). A true friend would never speak in such terms. We can expect them to defend what they believe and critique Catholicism (hopefully in a friendly, respectful way) and should not discourage that, but talk of shunning and so forth is, in my opinion, from the pit of hell.
I'm not discounting the natural affection we feel for friends, but I'm saying that by any reasonable definition of what a friend is, these people fail. In other words, if they go that route should you become a Catholic, I would say "let them go, and it is better sooner than later." Who needs "friends" like that? They have proven they never were a friend by their behavior, if they act like that.
On another level, I've always marveled at people who can't stand anyone who is different from them. Many folks seem to be literally threatened by those of a different belief-system or ethnicity, or social class, or race, or age (even gender), or whatever difference there is.
Hopefully, a lot of that sort of attitude can be broken down by charity in return, and by education. But you have to follow truth wherever you think it leads (always led by the Holy Spirit and enabled by God's grace). If some current friends do not understand and start to literally persecute you, that is very sad and distressing but can never be a reason not to follow truth as one has come to see and accept. In the end, we'll all stand alone before God and give account of our lives.
I won't even get into dating where there are serious religious differences. Ideally it should be avoided like the plague (above all, for the sake of children should it proceed to marriage). But we all know that in matters of the heart this is far more easily said than done. I'm just trying to spare anyone the problems that come as a result of that. Many who are in "mixed" marriages on this forum will attest to that, I'm sure.
Many of those choices cannot be undone and shouldn't be (because there are now families and marriage is a permanent commitment), but a single person is able to stop the process of romantic involvement before it goes to far and leads into a mixed marriage situation that will bring many conflicts and headaches and possibly heartaches.
____________________
I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2000+ papers & web pages (absolutely free) & 16 apologetic books (for sale):
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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Dena
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| Joined: | Fri Jul 18th, 2008 |
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| First Name: | Dena | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | vaguely Baptist childhood, convert to Judaism 13 years, Catholic 25 ... |
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Posted: Sat Jul 19th, 2008 03:18 am |
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Dear Laura,
Choice is before you, isn't it. It's not the first time you've faced choice. Think back to the choices you've made in the past. Which ones were "good" and which ones were "bad"? And what made them good or bad? It's not a matter of "how things turned out", but a matter of such questions as: did this choice free you? Did this choice give you a sense of integrity? Or do you wish now that you had certain choices to make again?
It would be nice to be able to assure you that if you continue and complete your journey into the Church, all would be forever well with you thereafter, but truthfully, that's when the problems begin!
Following the Truth is not for the faint-hearted. Christ doesn't just want your spare time, your spare change. He doesn't want any leftovers you may or may not have from these "friendships". No, indeed. He wants Everything. And honestly, if you're not ready for that, maybe you're not ready for Him.
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1311 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sat Jul 19th, 2008 04:16 am |
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Hello, Dena,
Welcome to the CHNI forum! 
Looks as if your journey has involved some interesting and surprising twists.
Hope you enjoy the interaction here.
Becky
____________________
"He who will persevere unto the end is not he who will never fall, but he who after every fall will humble himself and rise again, relying on the infinite strength of God." Divine Intimacy, p. 885 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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MissMusicTeacher
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jun 30th, 2008 |
| Location: | Silicon Valley, California USA |
| Posts: | 24 |
| First Name: | Laura | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | EVFree, Catholic seeker |
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Posted: Sun Jul 20th, 2008 03:43 am |
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Thank you, everyone, for your loving support. I will respond to your specific posts later, but for now I just want to write about something that happened this afternoon:
In my original post, I said that I thought my family would accept my conversion, but now it is evident that they will not.
This afternoon, I attended an Episcopal memorial service for my neighbors' son. This was my first time attending a liturgical church, so I was excited for the opportunity to see what it was like, even though it was for such a sad occasion. I also thought that maybe the service would give me an opportunity to talk with my parents about the Episcopal church and its similarities and differences with the Catholic Church - in order to "feel out" what my parents feel about the Church.
Well, things started out pretty well. For about the first half of the service, my parents participated in reading the creed (even the part about the communion of the saints; I don't think they really realized what they were saying) and responding to the prayers. However, as the time neared for communion, their participation lessened and then finally stopped altogether. I continued to participate quietly. The priest said that all who were baptized may receive communion, and that those who wish may come forward with their arms crossed to receive a blessing. Since I have celiac disease and am gluten intolerant, I knew I was unable to receive communion, but I whispered to my mom that I was going to go forward to receive a blessing. To my surprise, she told me not to and showed much displeasure and concern. After the service, I had the following conversation with my parents:
My parents apparently do not believe that the Episcopal church is truly Christian. They think that there are a few true believers in the church, but that the Episcopal church as a whole is un-Biblical. The reason my mom did not want me to receive the blessing is because she was concerned about me putting myself under the spiritual authority of someone who may not be a Christian. My dad then added, in a tone of disdain, "They even believe that they are receiving the actual body of Christ in communion! They're very..." (in a hushed tone) "Catholic."
I didn't argue. I merely said that I understood; however, I never indicated that I agreed with their views. I just didn't feel that I know enough about the Catholic faith to offer a good explanation of the Church's true teachings.
This also reminded me that my dad didn't want me to watch The Passion of the Christ - because it was "too Catholic" and "might teach me false doctrines."  My parents, and especially my dad, are extremely concerned about the salvation of Catholics and everyone they view as "too Catholic." I think I can pretty safely assume that my parents will look unfavorably upon my interest in becoming Catholic, and I wouldn't be surprised if they forbid me to convert. This saddens me very much and I am at a loss for what to do.
I knew that this wouldn't be easy, but I had at least hoped for my parents' support.   
____________________
out of town until August 2
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Intercessor
Member
| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1311 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sun Jul 20th, 2008 04:20 am |
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MissMusicTeacher wrote:
Thank you, everyone, for your loving support. I will respond to your specific posts later, but for now I just want to write about something that happened this afternoon:
In my original post, I said that I thought my family would accept my conversion, but now it is evident that they will not. . . .
I knew that this wouldn't be easy, but I had at least hoped for my parents' support.
Laura, I am so sorry for the confusion, disappointment, and frustration you must be feeling tonight. To an older person who has already been through it, though, especially to a parent, what has happened in your family was to be expected.
You've already told us what godly, thoughtful, careful, wonderful parents you have. Further, you've said that your own godliness is a result of their training and example. You are in college, but I don't know how near graduation you are. All I know is that you have completed at least one session (since you mentioned exams). I will assume you are about nineteen. Mom and Dad love you so much and know that despite your intelligence and earnestness and fine character, there is still much danger "out there."
Everything you've written in previous posts, and in this one, demonstrates the sort of persons they are and the quality of their parenting. Now begins the hard work of showing them appropriate respect while gently allowing them to absorb and adjust to your interest in the Catholic Church. The impact on your parents and the painful interactions that may occur are just one more reason you were advised earlier to slow down some.
I'm not trying to talk you out of becoming a Catholic. I'm just asking you to have understanding and great patience for your parents. They are going to need extra hugs and kisses, extra expressions of appreciation for all they have given you. Pray for them and ask God to guide you in this process that you might show them honor and wound them as little as possible in your journey.
Laura, I entered the Church at 58. My mother was heartbroken. It is not easy to see or hear the tears of an 84 year-old mama when you know you are responsible for her tears. The wounds are still deep, with her and with my sisters.
Nearly everyone on this forum has had to face the pain of a spouse, a parent, a sibling, or a child who was heartbroken or enraged by the decision to enter the Catholic Church. You will not be alone here. Try to settle in for a long, difficult journey, Laura. We'll be here when you need us.
Now say some prayers for Mom and Dad.
hug kiss pat hug kiss pat Yeah, we love you, girl.
Becky
____________________
"He who will persevere unto the end is not he who will never fall, but he who after every fall will humble himself and rise again, relying on the infinite strength of God." Divine Intimacy, p. 885 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Howard the Pilgrim
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| Joined: | Sun Dec 16th, 2007 |
| Location: | Lamar, Colorado USA |
| Posts: | 70 |
| First Name: | Howard | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | United Presbyterian, non-denom, American Baptist, non-denom, Conservative Baptist, United Methodist ... |
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Posted: Sun Jul 20th, 2008 07:35 am |
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Consider yourself hugged, Laura. I just want to encourage to just take one step at a time with Jesus and let Him lead you. Take your time, learn more about the Catholic Church, fellowship with the Catholics and your fellow sojourners here at the CHN website and watch EWTN. I have been on the journey and seriously looking at the Catholic Church for 11 years now. Although I have felt the pull as far back as 20 years ago. It just took me about 9 years to narrow my search down to the Catholic Church after looking at Anglicanism and Eastern Orthodoxy.
By the way it was the beautiful music of John Michael Talbot that really got me looking at the Catholic Church. It spoke to my heart. I love his Anima Christi. The guy had such an obvious passion for the Lord and he was Catholic. He is good buddies with Michael Card. So getting some of his CDs for your family and friends, after you listen to them and decide which are best for them, is a good "stealth" way of exposing them to the Catholic Church.
I've learned from and been blessed so much by the Catholic Church, I've become something of a winsome apologist among my Protestant brothers and sisters.  
They know if they "dis" the Catholic Church, they have this myth buster to deal with. Even my wife will say, "Hey, now. Wait a minute!" when she hears folks spreading untruths about Catholics.
Howard the Pilgrim
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Dena
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| Joined: | Fri Jul 18th, 2008 |
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| First Name: | Dena | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | vaguely Baptist childhood, convert to Judaism 13 years, Catholic 25 ... |
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Posted: Tue Jul 22nd, 2008 03:55 am |
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Thank you, Becky. Twists and turns, indeed, but Catholic for the past 25 years now. (I'm old--66).
And speaking of age, Laura, I don't know how old you are. You speak as if you live at home with your parents; I'm assuming you are perhaps a teen-ager? You said that you are only a week into your journey. Perhaps it's premature to be preparing for anticipated storms--from either friends or family.
I have a suggestion: Read. Someone has mentioned books by Patrick Madrid. He's a popular author who's often seen on EWTN; his books address certain criticisms of the Church, or answer questions. But you may want to know more about Church history, the Sacraments--many topics. And there are a zillion books out there, believe me! If you haven't already, go to EWTN's website for information, watch EWTN (that's the "lazy" way), and of course, use the internet. You have *much* education in front of you first. And meanwhile, relax. The Holy Spirit is in charge. He will guide you. Just know that, relax, read.
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Intercessor
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1311 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Jul 22nd, 2008 04:14 am |
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Dena wrote:
Thank you, Becky. Twists and turns, indeed, but Catholic for the past 25 years now. (I'm old--66).
Dena, sixty-six is definitely not old in 2008. My uncle remarried at 72 and recently celebrated his twenty-first wedding anniversary.
Maybe you will decide to begin a new thread in Fellowship Hall, introducing yourself and giving us a chance to get to know you a little bit. With your background you will make a valuable addition to the forum.
God bless,
Becky
____________________
"He who will persevere unto the end is not he who will never fall, but he who after every fall will humble himself and rise again, relying on the infinite strength of God." Divine Intimacy, p. 885 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Steven Barrett
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 1162 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 02:27 am |
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Laura,
You are in my prayers indeed. I was struck by the encounter you had with your parents after that Episcopal service.
Inasmuch as most of us are concerned with the Episcopal Church's leaders, by and large most Episcopalians are good God-fearing Christians who take what's in their Books of Common Prayer as seriously as what we take when we read our "spiritual resources."  What so many conservative Episcopalians bemoaned in the late Seventies attracted me during the mid-80s after putting up with so much "liturgical reform" following Vatican II that I was wondering if I had to become a Protestant to find a decent Mass to attend.
Your dad's objections aren't foreign to many of us in the Forum. Not by any long shot. It's a shame he feels this way, as it's a shame both of them are so adamantly opposed to you even looking, much less doing anything else.
However, when a person turns 18 in this country, they can ironically enough, rely on the force of the secular authority, i.e. the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights to declare their own religious independence. I haven't used this in a "discussion" with a Protestant yet, but I will eventually when they defend the rights to protect their adult children from any Papist influences.
You have the inherent right as a citizen of this country, and an adult child of God, no less! to decide if you want to be a Catholic or anything else. Even we Catholics, much to our occasional chagrin, have to face this fact of life in a free society. But, on the other hand, we should all be giving thanks we're not living in such freedom loving nations like Afghanistan, Iran or even worse, the Sudan.
If you are still living at home with them, then you really have a decision to make and I don't envy you. Judging from your Forum nickname, you're a teacher, so that ought to put you over the 18 hurdle.
I admire your parents willingness to stand for what they believe is right and true, albeit for incorrect reasons and unfounded fears for your salvation -- but they only are looking out for what they think are your best interests from their perspective. More Catholic parents should do it from ours.
As for The Passion, let that slide and by all means, don't get into a discussion where you're forced to EXPLAIN anything at the learning stage. There's too much in Catholicism to learn and (and goof up) if you're nervous about saying the right thing in the right way. And, unfortunately, as we all know, as kids, and later as parents, we know how easy it is to play the good cop/bad cop game to rattle the young 'um's.
Wear your desire to learn more about Catholicism and what you have learned and want to learn more about -- in your heart, and on your sleeves and on your face. Let your love show. That explains everything.
____________________
"This Old House's" motto is "Measure twice, cut once." My new motto is THINK at least twice or thrice, then you only have to write once, and maybe apologize nonce.
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Flowerchild
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 11th, 2006 |
| Location: | Washington USA |
| Posts: | 35 |
| First Name: | Terri | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Presbyterian to nothing to Lutheran to now Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 05:25 am |
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Hi Laura,
I should be the last one to give advice about dealing with parents or anyone for that matter. 
Telling people of my conversion has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. My husband still thinks I'm nuts and so do my kids. (I am guessing that my kids are about your age.) As for telling my folks, we have yet to have a meaningful conversation about it. My parents dislike all forms of organized religion, so I think they feel that they have failed me some how. A few months ago I was going to tell one of my good friends about my conversion, but then she started telling me that she had to go to this church for a function (and this is her comment not mine) "They started that Peace be with you crap!" So I thought at that point it was not the right time to bring up my conversion. Yikes!
I believe that young or old it is difficult to tell people when you know that you will not get supportive results. I am not sure how others have felt, but when I accepted the fact that I was going to become Catholic the feeling was (and still is) so precious and wonderful I did not want people to rain on my parade. I am strongly protective of my new feelings so tend to share with those that I know are going to be supportive.
I don't know if you go to a college that has a Newman Center or if there is a Newman Center close to you? A Newman Center is Catholic College Ministry. I live in a college town and we have a Newman Center. I have had the opportunity to meet the Kids (sorry, Students) who go there and what a great group! They all seem smart, reverent in their faith, and are fun to be with. Every one that I have had the chance to meet there has been very warm and welcoming. I am sure that at any Newman Center you would go to, people will be more than happy to answer your questions. Most likely you will find someone who is going through exactly what you are going through. The Priests are younger also, so that might make it easier to talk with them. I am assuming that there will be Mass there also, at least there is with the one in my town and the one on my dtrs college campus.
Well just some thoughts. Remember that God will not lead you to where you are not to go. You are in my prayers.
Terri
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Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
St. Francis of Assisi
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CuriousJW
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| Joined: | Fri Aug 15th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
| First Name: | CuriousJW | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | raised JW, now inactive, curious about RCC |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 02:39 pm |
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| I just wanted to chime in and say I appreciate this discussion. My circumstances are rather different, but I too face the challenge of dealing with upset family members. The comments here are relevant and helpful. Especially about going slow, reading, praying. Anyway, best wishes as you continue your journey.
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ChildofGod
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| Joined: | Sat Jul 12th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 133 |
| First Name: | Darlene | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Evangelical Christian |
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Posted: Fri Aug 15th, 2008 04:55 pm |
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[size=Courage and obedience, Laura,
] It will take courage whether I decide to become Catholic or Orthodox. Most of those whom I know will consider that I'm leaving the "born-again/saved" camp.
It's OK to be sad, anxious, or downright scared. Real courage is not an absence of fear (or blindness to the cost of a course of action). Rather, courage involves doing what one ought to do (obedience) in spite of the sadness, anxiety, or fear-- in spite of the high cost.
Very good advice. Courage involves wrestling with opposing forces which are determined to deter one from the course they are on and in this case, convince you that you are making a BIG mistake.
Following Christ is about dying to self, dying to one's own will, and forfeiting one's dreams or plans to the extent that God requires something different. You are allowed to mourn, to adjust and regroup.
Something I've been doing for about two years now. You will remember our suggesting earlier that you slow down a bit. Some people race ahead intellectually only to realize that the heart has not kept pace. God understands us and gives us time to process all the changes involved in entering the Church. He is patient, but we must learn to be patient with ourselves also.
EXCELLENT ADVICE, Becky. This explains my plight exactly. The human expression would be, "He who is convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still." There are those who rush into the RCC and later on question if they made a mistake. I've even seen this problem within Evangelicalism, when a person decides to "get saved" by answering an altar call or saying the Sinner's Prayer. Later on, they wonder what they got themselves into, because they hadn't counted the real cost that is required of living the Christian life. Going through the motions when the heart is holding back will only result in having to face and reconcile those things which were not dealt with in the first place. Perhaps some here will disagree with this approach, but for me, this is most definately the case.
Becoming a good Catholic (and it is my belief that you are headed for deep spiritual waters) involves every part of who you are. Your beliefs, your thinking patterns, your priorities, your perceptions, your nature must all be corrected, re-ordered, and purified--usually through suffering, Laura.
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