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Cinlite
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| Joined: | Fri Apr 18th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 13 |
| First Name: | Cynthia | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Raised Lutheran, as an adult I was Evangelical , then ... |
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Posted: Sun Apr 27th, 2008 02:28 am |
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The Monday after Easter 2000 (I guess I am a millenial convert) I walked into an Assembly of God Church and anounced that I believed in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and I felt obligated to resign from my lay music ministry position at the Church. This was a decision that I did not take lightly. I had been involved with church music for many many years and I knew the consequences of what I was about to do. I politely but agreeably received the left foot of fellowship and parted ways on my journey. That was the first step in a journey that has left me without a home.
My family did not approve at all of my decision and that Fathers Day when my father had finally learned what I had done and where I was attending church, told me he was ashamed of me. The good news is that he is now reconciled to my decision and loves me unconditionally.
My sons initially thought I had lost my mind and after 8 years now they are still confused by my decision. The reason for their confusion I will explain now. That leads me to my husband.
We have been married for almost 32 years. It is my only marriage and my husband's second marriage. His first marriage ended in divorce. Because he was divorced he would need to have his first marriage annulled in order for me to be received in full communion with the Church.
The problem is, my husband does not approve of my conversion and does not recognize or respect my decision at all. He refuses to facillitate my entrance into the Church by having his first marriage annulled. He feels he repented a long time ago and has been forgiven and there is no need to go through a process that has no meaning. We have a happy marriage but this has placed a strain on our relationship when it comes to the discussion of spiritual matters.
That leads me to the present. I am no longer Protestant and I am not Catholic either. I suppose you could say I am intellectually Catholic. I have an apologetics library that is larger than what you would probably find in the average Catholic's home library. I pray for the day that my husband will change his mind and heart. I even dare to pray for his conversion as well. That would be a miracle of significance.
BEWARE!!! Watching EWTN, reading Scott Hahn, viewing the conversion stories on the Journey Home may just change your life. Perhaps not exactly in the manner that you might think. Not every conversion story has a happy ending, at least not at first.
Don't get me wrong. I do not regret my decision. I will always believe in the Real Presence of of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. That is what the Holy Spirit used to convict my heart of the truth of the Church.
Please pray that one day I will be permitted this awesome privilege and that my family will join me at the table. I pray for that day.
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Intercessor
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1223 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sun Apr 27th, 2008 03:39 am |
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Cynthia, welcome to the forum.
You will be in my prayers.
Becky
____________________
"The perfection of a soul may be measured by the degree to which it does the will of God, and finds its happiness in doing it.... O my God,...the only thing necessary is Your holy will," Divine Intimacy, pp. 15-16 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Steven Barrett
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 944 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sun Apr 27th, 2008 03:56 am |
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Cynthia--Welcome into the Foro Romanum! While we don't offer the "excitement" of the original Roman Forum, wild raucous parties, Ides of March knife parties, and speeches by Marc Antony, we will keep you informed, encouraged, and sometimes very entertained. We don't have all those wild cats roaming all over the ruins, not to mention tourists! But we do have wide open hearts and arms.
Looks like you could especially use a case of the latter two!
There's been quite a few times when I felt like the permanent lone ranger in my home since I had a bad case of Rome/Home sickness and did something about it--but my problems pale, and literally pale in comparison to your's and the situations faced by many other fellow Romans.
I'm curious to know what you meant by "left foot." I've got a bad hunch it means "the boot." From what I've come to learn about "free church" Protestantism, many of these so-called "free church" leaders don't believe in really putting any meaning to those words.
As for the annulment disagreements, I'd love to see once and for somebody with significant authority in the Church here put together a massive advertising campaign for people in your situation so as to inform the rest of the world that you didn't make the rules, you have to play by them and it's not your fault, say or call in the matter -- and for the rest of the world to BACK OFF, GET OVER WHAT WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH AND NOT TAKE IT IT SO DAMN PERSONALLY.
Annulments are not a reflection upon the present marriages, especially if they've been fulfilled. And if non-Catholics are so willing to get worked up over clerical annulments, then why don't they get off their hypocritical high horses and start badgering their state legislators to drop civil annulments?
That might cut into internet, cell-phone texting, or TV "quality time." Or the amount of time they don't mind holding grudges against Rome and Catholics, or over the heads of people seeking conversion to Catholicism--especially their family members.
The best thing we can all do is to keep you in our prayers and hope for the best, knowing He has it all planned out for our best. Remember also, in Christ everything is renewed for the good. That's a stretch when we look back at some of our past relationships and how they might affect us today, even relationships that are 30-35 years seemingly "dead n' gone."
This, too, shall pass. Your husband is probably very apprehensive (and for good reasons) about the strong probability of facing a part of his past he'd rather not go back into and that's hard to blame him for. But trust in God, and Our Mother--They'll pull all of you through.
Steven 
____________________
For anybody interested in reading commentary from a Catholic's socially conservative/fiscally liberal viewpoint, go to my new blog at http://www.politicsramble.com/ .
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Cinlite
Member
| Joined: | Fri Apr 18th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 13 |
| First Name: | Cynthia | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Raised Lutheran, as an adult I was Evangelical , then ... |
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Posted: Sun Apr 27th, 2008 01:24 pm |
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Thank you for your kind words. It is difficult to COME HOME TO ROME when the door is locked. Eight years is a long time to watch others receive Jesus and feel like an outsider every time I attend Mass. It is profoundly discouraging to believe but not receive. What I meant by left foot of fellowship is that my former relationships offically and privately were permanantly affected by my decision.
When I initially went in to resign and shared that I believed in the Real Presence, I was told....You mean that Catholic Theology of Transubstantiation that was invented shortly after the Church was started?.....No, I replied....it was the concept that Jesus initiated in John chapter 6 and the early church believed. I explained the T word was just a word used to define what they already knew. Well, you can imagine that was not necessarily well received.
I lost friends. Other members of the congregation that knew me (As a musician, I was up front, highly visible with the ministry team) would look at me with a stone face at the grocery store or force themselves to be polite.
I lost business over my choice but I could care less about that aspect. It was what happened at home that made my life not so pleasant. After 8 years the rift continues. My husband did attend Mass with me on Palm Sunday and Easter but he insists on leaving when the Eucharist is served. His attitude is .....We are not invited to dinner, so we will leave. Even though he still has major differences with the Church, he does believe in the Real Presence. It was a small victory that he attended with me.
I have learned one lesson well......The Reformation LIVES ON!! People may not be burned at the stake anymore but the division is no less real.
My prayer is Jesus prayer......that the church will be one as He and His Heavenly Father are one. Being a Pentacostal believer, I do believe in miracles and it will take one for that prayer to be answered.
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Christine Ann
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | An Hours' Drive From Cincinnati, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 118 |
| First Name: | Christine Ann | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | former Lutheran, Baptist, now Catholic. |
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Posted: Mon Apr 28th, 2008 12:18 am |
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Dear Cynthia,
Please include me as one who will pray for you. I waited two years because of pending annulments, and I can't imagine waiting eight. I know the feeling of seeing all others having communion and the lonliness of being the only one without. Do you go forward for a blessing? Sometimes that would help me.
My journey began with a yearning for the Eucharist. I was also raised a Lutheran, but seeing the Lutheran Church of my youth becoming so liberal kept me away from that....thank God. My husband and I both had previous marriages, so that meant we both had to have annulments.
It has been a struggle with my husband, but he eventually agreed to cooperate, and my prayer for you is that your husband's heart will be softened. With God all things are possible.
In His love,
Christine Ann
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Cathcon
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| Joined: | Fri Feb 29th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 31 |
| First Name: | Marie | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | I am now Catholic but used to be Dutch Reformed |
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Posted: Mon Apr 28th, 2008 03:16 am |
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| I have been reading these posts and feel in my heart for all of you -have any of you Read St Augustine's Confessions - wonderful book - in it he praises his mother for praying for his conversation - she prayed for about 30 years and look what happened - he is one of the finest Doctors of the Church - I suggest that we all ask St Monica to intercede for all of you and continue to do so until you all find the happiness in the Church that you deserve. I will pray the rosary for all of you daily. I am also a convert and had a Catholic husband who would not go to Church but I just kept going and raised the boys Catholic - it is a long and lonely road - good lyric for a song there - but worth it. God is a generous giver and your gifts will be great for your perseverance.
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Steven Barrett
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 944 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Apr 28th, 2008 04:05 pm |
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Cinlite!
You've got some excellent coaches who've been in the trenches of the annulment wars. Rest assured your pleas and prayers and brave example are all being listened to and taken in by God, Mary, Saints and Angels!
I've got some good news and bad news regarding the Reformation. The good news is that it's a dead deal, spent, bereft of any new justifications (and yes the pun IS intended) for its existence and all the slick packaging many of the most energetic (read: personally ambitious) Protestant preachers try to use to cover the body's worsened internal conditions, the Protestantism is a dead movement walking.
The bad news is that most Protestants haven't figured this out thanks to the slickness of their preachers, hi-tech gimmickry, easy-sell ("cheap grace" in Dietrich Bonhoeffer's words--a VERY GOOD LUTHERAN) comfy megachurchianity we've come to accept in this country and increasingly throuhout Europe. (I'm not sure which is more frightening, moderate non-threatening Muslims or pie-eyed European fundamentalists.) The best part about the "bad news" is that sooner or later, and I think it's sooner, people are going to want more than fluff and junk food for spiritual guidance.
Lots of people love to despise Catholicism for its perceived "difficult" nature which admittedly rubs directly against the increasingly soft-soaped American Protestant establishment. Our rules about annulments stem directly from Jesus' mouth, from the Bible no less: but the "Bible Christians" will have nothing of it and are damned dedicated to making sure you wont' either. (You never hear a peep from them about civil annulments, however. "Huh, civil annulments ... whaaaaaa?")
What irritates me considerably is the nasty growing tendency of many American Protestant evangelical leaders' ability to con the people into thinking this was established as a "Christian nation" -- thus her laws are based on Protestantism, and Protestantism only when it fact it was only coincidental that the nation was mostly by people who were Protestants only because their parents and forebearers were Protestant and Catholics were (outside of Maryland) absolutely forbidden to even trod their ever so sacred soil. And, of the "Christians" who founded the nation, most of them were hardly the most church-going types. Hell most, I believe were Masons! But, thanks to them, and their fears of one Protestant (Anglicans) church being able to out-muscle the others, Madison made sure the 1st Amendment was included to protect everyone. I'm surprised this passed intact without some Protestant muscle thrown into to make sure the First had one CLEAR exception: Catholicism. (The ultimate bogeyman back then.)
For this reason, I'm tempted to vote a straight NO against any damn fool who buys into the so-called "Christian nation" nonsense because of the way the words "Christian America" and "Bible-Believing Christianity" are tossed about. But, so long as we have five Catholic justices on the Sup. Ct., including the Chief, Roberts, we'll still be legal for some years to come.
I put this in because I honestly believe that our civics education has been so protestantized insofar as discussions about our laws concerning marriage are concerned--and in so doing, we've excluded any chance for so many of us to come to grips with some sobering adult realities. We teach our kids they can essentially "marry anybody you want" which is only a partial truth.
Trying telling that to an Orthodox Jewish teen, or a young girl growing up in a Muslim family -- or, in some Protestant and sadly, some awfully restrictive Catholic families. America isn't a free country. It's not even a "democracy." It's a republic full of contradicting laws and glossy half-truths used to fog our eyes if we're not careful to the hidden realities that so many of our laws, however noblly intended and passed into law can't whitewash.
We don't as a society inform people about civil annulments? Why. Perhaps because we are so culturally Protestantized from top to bottom in our civil/legal and religious culture that to even make public mention of already existing laws that have any tinge of relationship to an internal (private!) Catholic procedure is to invite a flurry of pundits, pols and preachers all engaging in what Fr. Corapi calls "happy horse manure." Believe me, I've gotten burned when I, a certified paralegal no less, tried to explain MA's civil annulment laws to a Protestant. She immediately thought because I was Catholic I was trying to get her relative to seek an annulment for this person she knew. While I was flattered to think she believed I could envision how a civil procedure could be applied in a private religious court's jurisdiction, needless to say, I was quite a bit flummoxed. But why did this Protestant jump to the this conclusion. Perhaps because all she knew about annulments came from the media: "Catholic divorce."
The Reformation is dead because it lacks new ideas, notwithstanding all the new and latest ways of packaging the latest theological rationale for this or that popular Protestant idea designed especially to blow Rome away in seconds. Five hundred years worth of "seconds" and they haven't come up with a new idea for even a follow up breath. BUT, they will rely on the carcass of past political and military dominance. (You mentioned the stake. That was more our speciality, one I think we used too sparingly, by the way. Having gotten that zinger in, let me add that the Protestants were very adept when it came to the double-sided axe and Cromwell's spikes and cannons. And they were certainly very adept when it came to using economics to justify the first case of racial and religious genocide in modern history: The Great Famine in Ireland. (Many Irish Catholics were allowed to starve while the Protestant British carried out an experiment in free-market economics while they withheld cornstuffs grown in Ireland, no less, from the Irish while shipping tons of it to feed Her Majesty's Royal Canadian Mounted Police Horses.
But the Protestants in this country are extremely adept in using one very special weapon all people in a (semi-) free nation understand quite well: the SHUN and DISCRIMINATION. They can't get away with it legally in the public like they used to, but from what I've seen so far in life, they make everyone else look like pikers when it comes to using these weapons. True, most Protestants helped to bring about the end of racial segregation, and similar laws. But look at who put those laws there in the first place.
Nobody likes to be shunned. Nobody likes to be discriminated against. It's utterly un-American, and certainly un-Christian when applied in such petty and meanspirited ways. Losing business due to religious convictions! What country and century are we in?
Don't worry about what people do to keep you out of their inner circles if their circles keep getting smaller because the people in these circles want to keep them that way, if not smaller. Think of all the greater space where there's more light to enjoy that they're leaving for you to enjoy. Such restrictive thinking, shunning, black-balling and turning one's back on some body who's undergone an honest soul-searching that lead to taking a different direction in how she/he wants to worship Our Lord are mere death rattles of a dying religious and philosophical way of thinking.
Think of how great the joy will be when you finally see and enjoy the fruition of your efforts, sorrows, trials, ups n' downs and the hoops n' hurdles you've been subjected to. God won't forget and its His reward for you in the end that counts.
One of the greatest joys I count from being a member of this Forum is the number of new heroes I receive from reading the stories of people who've really found and chased after that all-precious Pearl in the field: God's Truth as Found, Taught and Experienced in the Catholic Church.
One by one, you're making that Reformation thing of the past -- stay in the past.
____________________
For anybody interested in reading commentary from a Catholic's socially conservative/fiscally liberal viewpoint, go to my new blog at http://www.politicsramble.com/ .
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Cinlite
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| Joined: | Fri Apr 18th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 13 |
| First Name: | Cynthia | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Raised Lutheran, as an adult I was Evangelical , then ... |
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Posted: Tue Apr 29th, 2008 01:16 am |
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Thank you for your prayers. They are appreciated more than words can express. It is a very lonely place that I have been in for 8 years. Some days I feel strong and other days I feel great despair and hopelessness over my spiritual plight. I know this will only be won through prayer and that is why I covet prayer. In ordinary circumstances if I had a prayer request I would ask friends and family to agree with me in prayer however they are praying I will come to my senses and stop attending the Catholic Church.
How can I do that? It is the only Church where the Real Presence of Jesus is present in a very real and sacramental way. I look forward to the day when I can join in at the table......Once again......Thank you.
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jumpdog
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| Joined: | Fri Dec 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Charlotte, North Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 27 |
| First Name: | | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Apr 29th, 2008 05:08 pm |
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Cinlite,
My story is much like yours. However, I am headed down the road to divorce.
I am a "cradle" catholic. However, I was not catechized properly (during the late 60's and throughout the 70's). I lived the "if it feels good, do it" lifestyle of the early 80's (sex, drugs, parties, etc.) while still "pretending" to be catholic-- I'd go to Mass (and receive the Eucharist very unworthily), but not to confession.
I met my current wife working at a bar. We started dating & having sex. I guess I decided that I'd better do something to hold onto her (all the while she was dropping major hints that she wanted to get married-- oh, and living together). Well, I popped the question on my birthday, and she said yes. I wanted to get married in the Church by my father (an ordained deacon). Well, I could tell that she didn't want anything to do with the Church (although she wouldn't come right out and say it). Along with my poor catechetics, arrogant pride, and some bad advice from a priest on the Special Dispensation, i decided to turn my back on the Church and get married by a protestant minister in "her" church (1987).
We didn't go to church much after we were married (for the first 5 years or so-- not even to "hers"). I got laid off soon after the birth of our first son (1994), and I decided that I needed to start attending mass again. My wife made that very difficult-- trying to make me late for Mass, accusing me of "dumping the responsibility on her"-- so I said that I would take him with me-- "Oh, no! You're not going to take him into that church!" She eventually got used to the idea that I would "disappear" on Sunday mornings, but she did not like it.
Fast forward to 1:00 pm March 18, 2000 (Saturday). It was Lent, but I had missed Ash Wednesday. I was working out in the yard contemplating this thought "did Jesus really die on the Cross?" I had allowed this weed to grow in my spirit many times before, but this time I said to myself "you know better... you know it's true... He really died for us... don't question it anymore!!!"
My life has not been the same since that moment.
God has both showered me with special graces and challenged me to really learn what it means to be Catholic. Special graces-- mystical experiences-- profound prayer life (through the Rosary), and challenges-- by protestants (Sola Scriptura and Sola Fide), Jehovah Witnesses (I got so good that they would not come to my house anymore), etc.. Through both I learned what it really means to be Catholic (and continue to do so).
Fast forward to Jan 8, 2002. I suffered another job loss. This time, I knew without any doubt that God was working in my life, and that He had not abandoned me. I responed with faith and prayer, and He again SHOWERED me with all kinds of blessing. My new job took (started in July '02) me to France 3 times. I was able to visit and attend Mass at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris (an amazing story in-and-of itself!), Avignon (Palace of the Popes and mass at Notre Dame de Doms Cathedral), and the highlight-- a weekend pilgrimage to Lourdes (brought back over 2 gallons of Lourdes water)!
It was after this job loss in '02 that I found out that I should not be receiving the Sacraments since I had married outside of the Church (thank you, Fr. Bob). I asked my wife to convalidate the marriage, but (as you may have guessed) she refused. I asked many times... I even got on my knees and begged her with tears streaming down my face, yet she still refused. Not only did she refuse, she would use it as ammunition against me during arguments ("you are ruining the possibility of convalidation by... ")
During the last 6 years, I have prayed and fasted for my wife and our marriage (Steve Harbison & E6 Men). However, things continued to go downhill.
Things finally broke last month, and we are now separated. I see no chance for reconciliation, and I will also have to spend no little effort in repairing my relationship with my 2 sons (they have sided with my wife). However, I am now able to receive. It is bittersweet, but I trust God and know His plan for me is continuing to unfold.
My desire for the Sacraments grew into a huge flame. However, receiving the Sacraments was not what God wanted me to do (at that time). He wanted me to learn OBEDIENCE! Also, He made an example of out of me. I actually had a friend try to "sneak" a piece of the Eucharist to me after she went to Communion. I refused. I had a priest preach a homily that it was not good to deny yourself the Eucharist. I went to Mass just hours after my mother died (Aug '05) with my older brother. He chided me for not receiving "to honor my mother", but I had to explain to him that mom would not want me to honor her by dishonoring Jesus.
Cinlite, right now IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO LEARN OBEDIENCE THAT TO RECEIVE THE SACRAMENTS!!!!!!! Use your burning desire to cleanse yourself of all those things that draw you away from the Lord. Offer up your desire (REDEMPTIVE SUFFERING) for the Holy Souls in Purgatory-- especially those long forgotten and who have nobody else to pray for them. Offer up your pain for your spouce, family, and those "friends" who abandon you when you converted.
Read the lives of the saints... they truly suffered greatly for the Lord... our sufferings are pale in comparison to them! St. Rita is good for starters (Saint of the Impossible)!! Read about St. John of the Cross... you are truly going through your own "Dark Night of the Soul" right now. You have a huge "vacuum" in your soul, and God will use it to "suck out" all that stands between you and Him.
YOUR SUFFERING MEANS SOMETHING-- IT IS NOT IN VAIN!!!!!
DO NOT ALLOW SATAN TO PLANT SEED OF DESPAIR!!! Satan will tempt you by saying things like "you will never be able to receive, why bother going to Mass anymore?", or "you'll never be worthy-- just forget about it!" Or stuff like "all your friends were right, you are a fool for converting." Do not give into despair... despair is fertile ground for Satan to plant his evil seeds! Satan hates a light who steps out from under the wicker basket-- do not ever go back!!!
Here is the real question that lurks just below the surface... will you continue to "be Catholic" (as best as you can without taking the Sacraments) even if it means that you will never be able to receive? Will you continue to seek Him in His One, Holy, Apostolic Church even if you will never be able to receive His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity? I had resolved myself to the fact that I may never be able to receive the Sacraments ever again. As a special grace, God gave me a calm sense of peace knowing that participating (as best I could) in His True Church was all I needed to do, and not to worry about the future.
God knows your heart. He sees your burning desire to be united in that special way that only the Sacraments can provide. God does not want catholics who just come to Mass and "do their time" and get a piece of bread and a sip of wine for their trouble. He wants fervent, faithful, and loving people who will do His will as best that they can (with His help, of course).
All of the burnt offering that Israel has ever offered to God are not worth your simple humility and obedience to Him!!!
DO NOT GIVE UP!!!
Peace
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Cinlite
Member
| Joined: | Fri Apr 18th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 13 |
| First Name: | Cynthia | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Raised Lutheran, as an adult I was Evangelical , then ... |
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 01:42 am |
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Wow......your reply and words have been timely and have not fallen on deaf ears. Your message is essentially what the Holy Spirit has been placing in my heart. I guess you are the confirmation that I have prayed for. God is Good!!! All the time!! I have even thought of giving up and going back to the Assembly of God. My mindset has been that it is obvious that my husband does not care what I believe (in regard to the Catholic Church) and the Church could care less too. I have felt that it is emotionally damaging to be in my situation. After all, would Jesus turn his back on me? The answer is obviously NO....he would not and has not turned his back on me. I have had people point out to me that I have a great gift that is going unused refering to my music background. Would God have you hide your gift? I had been used in Evangelism in my church. I had even been a speaker at women's retreats.
My family has also pointed out that HOW COULD I WANT TO JOIN A CHURCH THAT DOES NOT WANT ME AND WON'T LET ME IN>???? Believe me, I have had that one thrown in my face more than once. My youngest son says......Won't the Catholic Church let you into their little club yet?
You may not have intended it as such, but some of what you have said is almost prophetic. Thank you for being used by God in this way.
As for your situation, I will keep you in my prayers. You Sir, need a miracle of major proportions. We do serve a God who is in the miracle business and nothing is impossible to Him. I will pray that the lies of the enemy will be broken over your sons and your wife. Blessings and the Peace of Jesus Christ to you!
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jumpdog
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| Joined: | Fri Dec 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Charlotte, North Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 27 |
| First Name: | | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 04:17 pm |
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Cynthia,
You are correct about the Holy Spirit... several people have told me that they sense the presence of the Spirit of Truth when I write. I am but a servant of the Master who allows my hands to be used to spread His Truth!
You and I have more in common than you realize... I am a musician, too. However, I am a mechanical engineer (my "real" job). God has given many gifts to me... I design automated machinery for a large optical fiber manufacturer, and I am truly blessed to work for a company that has a generous benefits package!!! There are many wonderful people here who know of my plight and have been a great source of comfort and support. I am truly blessed!!!
My music a more of a hobby... I am not quite good enough to earn a living. I always have loved music... older sister who played the Beatles constantly... older brother who played the drums. I began by playing trumpet in elementary school (unfortunately, they already had enough drummers!). I learned how to play several more instruments (French horn was my favorite). I played trumpet regularly through my sophomore year in college (jazz ensemble). When I was a senior in high school, I bought a bass guitar & amp. I thought that I would teach myself to play and join a rock band... I learned, but never had the time for a band. I then bought an Ovation 12-string back in 1983 from my best friend (a Holy Spirit-filled story in-and-of itself). I taught myself to play, and I really enjoy this guitar (to this day). God has blessed me with a decent voice also. I sold the bass and amp to pay for my wedding... I wish I had that bass guitar back (white Rickenbacker 4000)!
I had ignored my gifts for many years... there were times when I didn't pick up my guitar for months at a time. But, and I'm sure you know this too, God does not leave you alone to waste or ignore the gifts He has given you. We moved into a new house about 2 years ago, and another parish was now closer-- one that had a contemporary music program. I usually attended 9:00 Mass at my old parish, so I started going to 9:00 at the new parish. Well, they didn't have a guitar player at 9:00. I felt the call, and joined the choir.
Of course, my wife did not like this at all. Practice on Thursday nights, as well as rehearsal just before Mass (which added up to more time at Church and away from the family). I asked on many occasions-- please come to Mass with me and listen to me play. Well, I'm sure you can guess her answer!
My latest "toy" is a Stratocaster Lite Ash Edition. It is a beautifully crafted instrument... I love the natural wood grain finish. I'm still learning how to play it (much different than my Ovation), but I'm having alot of fun. I actually played it at Mass for the first time just last week!
You also made a comment about what your youngest son said. I read it, and I think I noted a bit of sarcasm (correct me if I'm wrong). My sons also treat my fervor for God and His Church as some kind of mental disorder. As of late (just before I moved out), they were openly mocking me about the Church-- "Dad's not here... oh, he must be at Church!". They are being raised presbyterian by my wife, but they are also being filled with alot of anti-Catholic rhetoric (i.e. Catholics don't believe that others outside of the Church can be saved). I tried to show them the Catechism where it says that other outside of the Church can be saved, but they didn't want to see it. My wife has done a very good job of turning them against me and the Church.
One thing you must remember about your children-- do not blame them. They only repeat what they have heard. They are too young to be responsible for those kinds of words (even mine who are 13 and 15). The unfortunate thing is that these kinds of lies will hinder them from finding the fullness of the Truth. You must pray and fast for them as much as you can. Defend the faith as St Peter said (2nd reading from last Sunday). I have not done a very good job of defending the faith with gentleness... I get too emotional. Some misinterpret my fervor for arrogance, and I have done some stupid things to boot. I know that it's tough to hear those kinds of hurtful things from anybody-- most especially from your own children. The toughest thing for me is that they don't believe what I say-- they think that I am some kind of brainwashed robot-- I dare say a cult member who spews rhetoric instead of the Truth. That really hurts!!! They don't understand that my duty as a father is to prepare them for life by showing them the Truth-- not just some of it-- and to show them where to get it (as they will need it more and more as they grow older). I can only hope that I have planted some seeds that will sprout as they grow to be men.
I have had to let all 3 of them go. That is the most painful thing I have ever done (and I am still having to "do it"). I never should have married her... she was all wrong for me. However, I chose to be arrogant... I was "in charge" of my life, and we seemed compatible at the time. I am now suffering the consequences of my pride. However, God has given me a sense of peace knowing that I will (someday) get my sons back. It may take years, but they will grow into men (and fathers) someday. I didn't really begin to love my father deeply until I became a father. After experiencing all of the joys and trial of fatherhood, I started to see things in my own father that I had never seen before. He continues to this day to be a very good example to me (he's almost 80). One truly does not understand or appreciate the depth of a parent's love until they become a parent!
Thank you for sharing your story here... I'm glad that I could "commiserate" with you! Thank you for your prayers... you will be in mine too. Oh, don't get me started on the power of prayer... an incredible source of joy, peace, and comfort!!! My personal favorite is the Rosary... Mary called me, and I answered... but that's another story!
Steve
Last edited on Wed Apr 30th, 2008 04:27 pm by jumpdog
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Cinlite
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| Joined: | Fri Apr 18th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 13 |
| First Name: | Cynthia | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Raised Lutheran, as an adult I was Evangelical , then ... |
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Posted: Thu May 1st, 2008 02:02 am |
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Yes....it does appear that we have many things in common. However I do not wish to give the wrong impression about my husband. He and I on May 18th 1980 made a joint commitment in a church by going forward at an altar call and confessing Jesus as our Lord and Savior. He loves the Lord and is a very good man. The problem is, like many protestants he has many misconceptions about Catholicism that he is NOT even willing to honestly investigate. Over the course of the last 8 years I have had to plant seeds that I have to trust in the Lord to nuture. I have an apologetics library that is not so insignificant that I have depended on.
Right now, I am on a new campaign in this war of conversion. I am trying to cut a deal with him that if he facillitates my conversion by going through with the annulment process, I will promise not to get involved in music ministry of any kind. I was very involved in the past and had a great deal of responsibility and time invested in music. It is something that I love more than words can express. I read music before I read words. I miss music ministry very very much however I want to partake of the Eucharist more than anything. We are very busy people and he is a community leader. I know he is concerned that we would have but one more thing to steal our time and this would necesitate spending time apart because he has NO INTENT at this time of attending the Catholic church on a regular basis. I may even have to compromise and say I would attend Mass during the week and would attend with him on the weekend. This would be a very delicate situation in more ways than one. I am grateful that I now live in a different state and would not be known as to who I was concerning my past involvement in music ministry. Remember, in an Assembly of God Church music is held in a very special place in worship. My theory is, in absence of the Real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, they have used music to invoke Jesus presence in some unique way. I don't know what will happen with this new campaign of mine. I am gently negotiating this new push toward full communion. In the past, I have gotten him to agree and even made an appointment to meet with a Deacon to start the process. At the last minute he backed out and became very upset and not so pleasant. That is maddening to be that close and to see years of negotiating fall apart. One thing I have learned......PATIENCE.
In regard to my sons, I have made some strides in the right direction. The Holy Spirit is so creative in how he uses situations in our lives to bring us to the Lord and the TRUTH.
My oldest son had one of his mentors at work who he thought a great deal of, drop dead in the parking lot of a massive coronary. This shook my son up very badly. This man was a local celebrity and there was a large funeral Mass for him. My son was so deeply touched by the service and the Liturgy that he opened his mind to a certain extent. He went as far as to say that he believed that was what God intended Church to be!!! That floored me when I heard him utter those words. The only obstacle in his way now is a very liberal girlfriend who is very secular and no church background. My son knows better since he was raised in Church and still has a heart for Jesus. I trust that will prevail in his life.
My youngest son is my most spiritual child. He also was raised in Church and loves the Lord. He went to a large university, then moved back home, transferred to a small Bible college near our home in order to graduate and obtain his degree faster. He would come home from class (after having attended a religion class) and would laugh! He would say, OK Mom.....deprogram me. What is your take on this topic and why are they wrong. I am so glad that I have a great deal of credibility with my son. He would tell his friends it was like living with Billy Graham and having him do his homework. He knew that I was an avid Bible student as well as a amateur Catholic apologist. He would listen to what I had to say and genuinely wanted to know the Catholic side of the story. He even has developed a deep appreciation of St. Bernadette and the story of Lourdes. He believes she really heard from heaven.
So....you see....there are some small victories at home. This is a far cry from what the family dialogue was when I first left the Assemblies.
I do pray the Rosary and I will pray for your situation too. I believe in prayer and its power to change things. I just have to remember that God's timing is not always our time. So we wait on the Lord and trust in his love and perfect will for us.
Enough for now.....God Bless you and Peace Be With You.
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TerminalNewEnglander
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| Joined: | Mon Jan 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Rhode Island USA |
| Posts: | 50 |
| First Name: | Bill | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic; Lapsed Catholic; quasi-UCC; Reverted Catholic. |
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Posted: Wed Jun 11th, 2008 08:53 pm |
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I guess I've come to the right place. I've posted on CHN a few times in the past, but now things seem more desparate.
I've been troubled lately about my marriage, and, more generally, about my ability to deal with those who have not been graced as I have. I had the thought this morning that I need some help from somewhere, and then the CHN forum came to mind.
I've spent much of the past couple of hours reading much of this "When only one converts" thread. I can see now that my situation is simpler than that of some of the other posters here -- at least for the moment -- and that I can certainly benefit from what others have learned the hard way and have so generously shared here.
I guess I should introduce myself by supplying some background information. But I don't have time to do so at the moment, so I'll have to continue this writing later this evening.
Thank you all for being here.
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Intercessor
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1223 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jun 11th, 2008 10:48 pm |
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Bill, I said a prayer for you.
Yes, this is still the right place. 
Do return when you have time to tell us more.
Becky
____________________
"The perfection of a soul may be measured by the degree to which it does the will of God, and finds its happiness in doing it.... O my God,...the only thing necessary is Your holy will," Divine Intimacy, pp. 15-16 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Rosa
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| Joined: | Wed Jun 11th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 3 |
| First Name: | Rosa | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | From birth to age 15-atheist/agnostic, from 15 to 27-protestant & ... |
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Posted: Thu Jun 12th, 2008 02:43 am |
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I guess that's me too ("when only one converts").
My husband is now Greek Orthodox. He converted Sept, 07 and I converted to Catholic church Easter 08. It's hard, but we are actually more united in our faith now than when we were both protestants! At least he is letting our girls be bapized this summer in Catholic church.
Rosa
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TerminalNewEnglander
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jan 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Rhode Island USA |
| Posts: | 50 |
| First Name: | Bill | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic; Lapsed Catholic; quasi-UCC; Reverted Catholic. |
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Posted: Thu Jun 12th, 2008 04:34 am |
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I was away from the Church for quite a while...for the most part. I never rescinded it, and sometimes even found myself as the only one in a room making any attempt to defend it. I truly hated Catholic-bashing even as a non-attender.
I got very immersed in "the world"...although I always maintained a somewhat cynical streak toward much of the meaningless stuff that many people take so seriously. I attribute this to both a somewhat classical education, as well as to my Catholic upbringing [what there was of it; it pretty much stopped in any growth sense after 9th grade or so]. I've always known on some level that I should be doing something more meaningful with my life, but once I became a slave to my own debts, it became hard to break free.
I don't think I was ever happier than I was during the half-year I attended Catholic school...the first half of 5th grade. It was a newly-opened school, and I would arrive each day at 7am for daily Mass before school with a couple of friends of mine. This wasn't required, we just wanted to do it. I played accordion, and we were in the process of getting a little band going. But then my family moved to another state, and I found myself back in a public school. Nobody gave accordion lessons around there, so that stopped too.
This move was more significant than I ever thought...and I placed a lot of significance on it at the time. It was a move from an ethnic, mid-sized city to a small, rather waspy town. I adjusted pretty well, mostly due to my athletic abilities, but I missed the holistic approach to education that the Catholic school provided. We attended church faithfully, but the Catholic crowd consisted of mainly other transplants, and I somehow thought I needed the approval of the natives. Aye, there's the rub. This mindset led me to places over the next decade or so where I never thought I'd find myself, finally landing me in a rehab at age 25.
Free of alcohol and drugs, it was good to be alive again. Some of my most significant spiritual experiences happened during this period. I was once again a believer, and even went back to the Church in a rather erratic fashion. But then the most serious "relationship" of my life left me with a heartache that didn't seem to subside for a couple of years. Somehow, contemporary lifestyles and I did not mix. I wanted to be cool, but I couldn't live with it. I know now it's because such lifestyles are not rooted in the Truth.
I met my wife by answering an ad in a singles magazine [today it would have been an online dating web site]. We were compatible in various ways, but I downplayed the significance of our drastically different religious upbringings. We got married in her "church" and had a couple of kids. Once the 2nd one was born, I pushed to get them both baptized. We weren't attending anywhere during these early years. So we "compromised" with the local United Church of Christ congregation. At the time, I didn't fully understand how far to the left they tended to be, so I'd say now she got the better end of the compromise. But the more I attended, and the more I listened, the more I started to awaken from the decades-long religious coma I had unknowingly lapsed into.
We moved to a neighboring town and "joined" the UCC congregation there. To her it was joining, but to me it was just putting my name on a list for the sake of the kids. I still thought of myself as Catholic. My wife got involved in various ways, even serving as a "deacon" for a 3-year term. I did little or nothing. One exception that I enthusiastically volunteered for was a day-trip to the Weston Priory in Vermont. I don't remember what their motivation was, but a day at a Catholic monastery at the height of foliage season sounded like a good idea to me...and it was.
Assistant pastors seemed to come and go, and the congregation had a curious method of steering the search and hiring process themselves. [A requirement seemed to be that candidates apparently had to think the right way about certain issues.] But then they hired the wrong one...at least for me. On her very first day of preaching, she got up a gave an in-your-face talk focusing on her own lesbianism. I was out of there, never to return...save for a few occasional visits that were significant for my wife and/or children. She eventually left the congregation herself, but by then my life had taken a significant turn.
It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, 2004. I was cleaning the garage, by myself, in anticipation of my own 50th birthday party that was to happen shortly. It couldn't have been a more mundane activity. Seemingly out of nowhere, a wave of emotion came over me and I began to cry. I was left with one thought in my head: I must return to the Catholic Church. It was like a moment from an old Bill Cosby routine, where he's talking to God, and maybe saying something like: "Hey! I wasn't expecting that! How about a little warning next time!?" Within 18 hours I was face-to-face with a priest from the local parish.
My own journey back has been rocky and, once again, rather erratic at times, and I can talk at length about it, but I want to focus on how this new direction has affected my marriage and other relationships. I'll start on that in my next post.
Last edited on Thu Jun 12th, 2008 04:42 am by TerminalNewEnglander
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TerminalNewEnglander
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jan 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Rhode Island USA |
| Posts: | 50 |
| First Name: | Bill | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic; Lapsed Catholic; quasi-UCC; Reverted Catholic. |
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Posted: Thu Jun 12th, 2008 04:47 am |
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Intercessor wrote: Bill, I said a prayer for you.
Yes, this is still the right place.
Do return when you have time to tell us more.
Becky
Much appreciated...
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Free
Member
| Joined: | Wed Nov 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 208 |
| First Name: | Jane | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Presbyterian, Gnostic, non-denominational, Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jun 12th, 2008 10:34 am |
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Thanks for sharing the first part of your story. It's powerful!
--A Perpetual Michigander
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jumpdog
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| Joined: | Fri Dec 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Charlotte, North Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 27 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 12th, 2008 12:49 pm |
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