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EMarshallBuckles
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rockville (Near Richmond), Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 616 |
| First Name: | Marshall | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Christian Church,Episcopal Church,Baptist denomination,learning about RCC |
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 06:22 am |
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Minn. mom fights church ban on her autistic son
June 01, 2008 3:01 PM EDT
BERTHA, Minn. - Carol Race thinks it's important for her 13-year-old son to be in church on Sundays for Catholic Mass.
Leaders of the Church of St. Joseph once felt the same way, but not anymore. They say Race's autistic son Adam is disruptive and his erratic behavior threatens the safety of other parishioners.
The northern Minnesota church has obtained a restraining order to keep Adam away, an action that has been deeply hurtful to the Race family and has brought them support from parents of other autistic children.
"My son is not dangerous," Carol Race said. The church's action is "about a certain community's fears of him. Fears of danger versus actual danger," she said.
In court papers, church leaders say the danger is real. The Rev. Daniel Walz wrote in his petition for the restraining order that Adam - who already is more than 6 feet tall and weighs more than 225 pounds - has hit a child, has nearly knocked over elderly parishioners while bolting from his pew, has spit at people and has urinated in the church.
"His behavior at Mass is extremely disruptive and dangerous," wrote Walz. "Adam is 13 and growing, so his behaviors grow increasingly difficult for his parents to manage."
Carol Race said Walz's claims are exaggerated.
"He's never actually injured anyone," she said. "He's never knocked down anyone. He's never urinated on anyone or spit on anyone."
Carol Race was cited for attending church May 11 in violation of the restraining order, and faces a hearing Monday. She says she can't afford a lawyer and will defend herself in court. A lay mediator is scheduled to meet with her and church board members on Wednesday.
Autism is a developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to communicate and interact with others. It is more severe in some people than others. Adam has limited verbal skills.
Walz did not return calls seeking comment, but Jane Marrin, who works for the Diocese of St. Cloud and is acting as a spokeswoman for the parish, said the church board tried working with the Races to find "reasonable accommodations." That included offering a video feed of Mass that could be watched in the church basement.
The family refused all suggestions, she said.
"It's a difficult issue," Marrin said. "There are no easy answers."
Carol Race dismissed the church's suggestion that Adam watch a video feed in the church basement, saying that "does not have the same status as attending Mass. Otherwise we could all just sit home and watch it on TV and not bother to come in."
"It's considered a sin in the Catholic church not to attend Mass on Sundays and every holy day of obligation," she said. "And that's what this is about. I'm just trying to fulfill my obligations."
Adam is one of five children. The family's home in nearby Eagle Bend has separate study rooms so the other children can read books and use crayons that Adam could otherwise destroy.
Carol said Adam has two favorite spots in the house, the prayer room and the kitchen table. "He likes to eat," she said, laughing.
Adam is prone to anxiety attacks. Carol said some of those outbursts force members of the family to sit on him to calm him down, or restrain his hands and feet with a strip of felt.
In his court petition, Walz said that after one service Adam got into another family's car, started it and revved up the engine while there were people in front of the vehicle.
"Adam's continued presence on parish grounds not only endangers the parishioners, it is disruptive to the devout celebration of the Eucharist," Walz wrote. "I have repeatedly asked John and Carol to keep Adam from church; they have refused to do so.
"In fact, Carol told our parish council that she would have to be dragged from church in handcuffs if I tried to keep Adam from attending Mass," he wrote.
The Races have received support from other parents, including Chris and Libby Rupp, who brought their autistic daughter from St. Paul on Memorial Day weekend and sat in the church's back pew normally occupied by the Races.
"I think this case is mostly about not understanding autism," Libby Rupp said. "I wanted to show them another example. Ultimately, we just need more people to truly understand autism."
Rupp met the Races and said she could see why some people might be uncomfortable around Adam, but she added: "Never at one point did I feel that anyone was in danger."
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. Last edited on Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 06:23 am by EMarshallBuckles
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EMarshallBuckles
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 19th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rockville (Near Richmond), Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 616 |
| First Name: | Marshall | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Christian Church,Episcopal Church,Baptist denomination,learning about RCC |
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 06:43 am |
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I think that there may be two possible answers to this problem. One would be that the Parish or Diocese pay to have someone, such as a strong medical aide trained in dealing with such matters, sit with the boy with the understanding that the parents and aide will keep him under control at all times, that he be appropriately medicated as needed, and that if he starts to disturb the service or attempts to hurt anyone, he will be brought under control and, if that is not possible, the police will be summoned to assist. While the boy should have some service he can attend, the mother and family need to have it asserted to them that the other parishioners MUST be able to attend services without being bothered in any way by the boy. It seems to me that this woman may be, if the boy is truly misbehaving due to his disorder, putting herself at risk of being sued and the boy at risk of being confined in a juvenile detention center or hospital.
The second possibility would be for the Parish to hold a seperate service for the boy and his family with the undertanding that the boy will be kept under control during this private service or else police will be summoned and he will be removed.
I understand that there is probably a desire that people with various behavioral disorders not be locked away and mainstreaned as much as possible, however, when a person with some behavioral disorder is disrupting any sort of meeting or religious service, I think that some sort of action needs to be taken to somehow provide for their needs while protecting others from their potentially violent actions. The church probably needs to have people somehow document what happens with the young man, including some videos of him, and be able to present that to local authorities as well as church authorities as a means of helping encourage the mother and family to cooperate and help start working out a plan to help the family yet also to prevent service disruptions and potential injury to others. I did see this sort of thing happen at a Baptist church in a Sunday school situation. Sadly, some parents just stopped bringing their children and left the church. The church did start requiring the mother to be in the classroom with her child and to keep him under control. Sadly, these sorts of situations can result in the parents being sued by those the child injures and various charges filed against them. It would be much better, for all concerned, to work out a plan which will help meet the family's spiritual needs and yet protect the other parishioners as well. I am thinking that a seperate Mass for the family would probably be the best way to handle this sort of situation.
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Ali
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| Joined: | Sat Jan 6th, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 661 |
| First Name: | Ali | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | JW, finally fully Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 09:58 am |
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There are no easy answers for this situation, and others like it. How sad that it came down to a restraining order 
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kimdyuma
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 832 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 02:30 pm |
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| That news has been floating around on the Autism lists for a while- It was tkaen as another way to slam the Church esp. on the Christian list -I tried to post that there are two sides to every story but was flamed pretty badly- and asked how we could let child abusers in but not "children" - I stay on the lists becuase no matter what they are full of resources which anyone dealing with autism needs- though I find that of all the special needs lists that I have been on the one that are Autism specific are pretty angry over all.
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Credo Catholic
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| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1359 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 03:37 pm |
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kimdyuma wrote: though I find that of all the special needs lists that I have been on the one that are Autism specific are pretty angry over all.
IMO parents of autistic children have one of the toughest and never ending battles to fight for their children than anyone. It is a condition that is poorly understood by most people. The spectrum of involvement by the autistic ranges from barely noticeable to profoundly mentally handicapped. Resources vary so much from state to state and often have to be fought for in court by families who can't affort the special care for their child much less lawyer fees. This mom probably has battle scars and is swinging wildly out of fear and anger. I don't agree with her demands, she needs to let her pastor find an appropriate way of offering mass and the Holy Eucharist to her son. The article states that she herself separates him from the other children during study time to keep him from destroying their materials. Don't you think some people just find a cause that is worth fighting for to begin with but lose their sense of logic and reality somewhere along the way?
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kimdyuma
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 832 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 04:01 pm |
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| Since I have a typical child and one with autism I see both sides of the issue a little more clearly- I find that my friend with either typical children or only special needs get lost in "their" view of things-
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JasPax
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| Joined: | Wed Nov 22nd, 2006 |
| Location: | North Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 242 |
| First Name: | James | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Episcopal to Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 07:21 pm |
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kimdyuma wrote: I find that my friend with either typical children or only special needs get lost in "their" view of things-
Yes, that's true. As a former school principal I know that often parents have spent so much time fighting for their severly disordered child that, in time, they begin to lose common sense perspective. Any restriction is seen as rejection. They have trouble separating real discrimination from concern for the larger society. And sometimes advocacy groups encourage the lashing out behavior of the parents. I have the scars to prove this.
The larger society has a right to attend Mass without gross disruption. I suspect the Church and parishioners have bent over backwards to accommodate this family until the situation became intolerable. What is wrong with allowing the boy (now 13 and 225 pounds) to watch the video feed and have the communion brought to him? That seems like a reasonable request. Anyone who wants to stay with him would be free to do so.
Regards,
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James
"Abide in me, and I in you..." John 15:4
"He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him." John 6:56
RSV-2CE
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 1657 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 2nd, 2008 10:00 pm |
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As a parent of a relatively mild autistic son, who has been known to have "meltdowns," I speak from some firsthand experience.
I would suspect that there was a middle way that could have been achieved here. It's not specific about how he disrupted the Mass. But why could he not have taken a seat at the back or in the "cry room" (if there is one)? That way, he could (monitored by his parents) leave temporarily if necessary.
In extreme cases of those with disabilities, I suppose some people are brought the Eucharist and encouraged to worship in whatever way possible.
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kimdyuma
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 832 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Tue Jun 3rd, 2008 12:11 am |
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| As i understand the Church offered to bring him the Eucharist at home but the family refused.
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 1657 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Tue Jun 3rd, 2008 06:09 pm |
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| Then it depends how truly disruptive he was. I think it must have been quite a bit for the church to take legal action, so it looks to me likely that the family might be taking too hard of a line. But I don't have all the facts.
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I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2000+ papers & web pages (absolutely free) & 16 apologetic books (for sale):
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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kimdyuma
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 9th, 2006 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 832 |
| First Name: | Kim | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | cradle Anglican, Episcopal /Catholic-04/07/07 |
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Posted: Tue Jun 3rd, 2008 06:20 pm |
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Yeah Dave that has been kind of my point all along too
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