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Steven Barrett
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Absurdistan, AKA , Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 1566 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sat May 5th, 2007 03:25 am |
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 I just saw an AP story about some Austrian animal rights advocates pushing for declaring chimps "humans." They won't go so far as to allow them to vote (well, why not if they're going to be called "humans"?) but in order to protect the few remaining chimps in the land of Mozart, and keep them from being sold to other lands where their rights will surely be abrogated (more than) somewhat, animal rights want to say the Cheetahs and their ladyfriend Chimps are just like us.
Why not, these intellectually clever Austrians argue, since chimps share almost 100 percent of human DNA?
Well, let's say these folks forgot something. Perhaps God wanted it that way since He made us in His, not Herr Cheetah's, image. Maybe this explains why those pesky few percentage points separate the folks who gave us beautiful music (Thanks Wolfgang! Pope Benedict would say Yawohl to that!), built St. Stephen's Cathedral in Vienna and a few other notable contributions as opposed to the apes which simply entertain us.
In fairness to the apes, I'll pose this question: Do you think any self-respecting Austrian ape-human would want to be considered the equal to another but altogether very infamous Austrian? The real untermensch with the funny mustache and violent temper. Yah, meine Damen und Herren. Even Austrian ape-men deserve a break. 
Last edited on Sat May 5th, 2007 12:14 pm by Steven Barrett
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James Michael Curley to a young Thomas “Tip” O’Neill -- “Son, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
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Steven Barrett
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Absurdistan, AKA , Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 1566 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sat May 5th, 2007 12:30 pm |
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I kinda have a gut feeling that this Austrian chimp (whose buddies want to make him a human by legislative action) might be related to a certain Governator from Tinseltown.
Surely ein Herrenchimp from Austria would have enough sense to be riding a motorcycle -- ( along with his kids, no less!) -- with at least a valid permit.
If some Europeans can justify such an ingenious piece of "legislation," who knows what the Massachusetts State Supreme Court and our cowed legislature might do with regards to gay chimps. (Uh oh, I just committed a "hate crime." Against apes, homosexual or transgendered apes, homosexual homo sapiens etc., etc. -- or all of the above?)
What a great world we live in: apes getting legislative TLC while millions of unborn children are aborted daily because enough uncaring humans in legislatures and courts across the globe decided they weren't worth the trouble to legislate any special protection like this Austrian ape might get.
Hey, I'd like to see some legislature pass a law protecting the politically incorrect. Now, that'd require a miracle, wouldn't it?:?
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James Michael Curley to a young Thomas “Tip” O’Neill -- “Son, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
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Candlemass
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| Joined: | Tue May 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Hudson, Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 490 |
| First Name: | Mark | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, AOG, Baptist, non - denominational, Anglican, RCC for life! |
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Posted: Sat May 5th, 2007 06:31 pm |
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| Isn't this the absurd evolution of evolution......even theistic evolution?
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"For I the blind who once could see, the bell tolls for me!"
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Steven Barrett
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Hadley, Absurdistan, AKA , Massachusetts USA |
| Posts: | 1566 |
| First Name: | Steven | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Episcopal communicant, Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Sat May 5th, 2007 07:19 pm |
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Y'know, it's all relative.
If we follow the logic of the by-all-means-necessary Austrians seeking to help this hapless chimp, we could very well be seeing history books re-written to include the histories of gorillas and chimps. Problem with that is, besides entertaining us in great film classics like "Bedtime for Bonzo" and Tarzan flics, there really isn't that much to write about.
It wasn't the apes who built the great cathedrals, castles and palaces of Europe. It wasn't an ape who wrote the Summa Theologica or our Declaration of Independence. Nor did any ape compose anything as masterful as Verdi's operas and Mozart's symphonies. And, my God, could any ape even come close to composing the prodigious amount of beautiful music as J.S. Bach gave to the world?
Despite all of mankind's worst conduct, there is no way the most dedicated of all the most radical animal rights' advocates can pull this monkey business off. Then again, we mustn't underestimate the talents of some politicians when it comes to monkey business.
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James Michael Curley to a young Thomas “Tip” O’Neill -- “Son, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
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