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Ali
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 6th, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 661 |
| First Name: | Ali | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | JW, finally fully Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 05:14 pm |
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I just ordered this book from Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Savvy-Smart-Teens-Mysteries/dp/0060829648/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214581774&sr=1-2
It's by Toni Weschler, who also authored the extremely helpful book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Only this one is for teens and younger girls.
I try to be very open with my dd about what's going on and what to expect. It was hard for my mom, so my education was trial and error. I want my dd to avoid that and have a solid source of correct information.
I'll let you all know what I think of it next week when it arrives.
I would also be interested in how other Mom's have approached these subjects with their daughters.
Ali
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JillD
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 754 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 05:42 pm |
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My daughter read Janet Smith's essay, "Contraception: Why Not?" It pretty much convinced her not to be a guinea pig using the pill and she, being a 'natural' sort of gal - no makeup and all that - liked the idea of letting her body tell her the right time. She's not Catholic, either! She just got married this past Sunday, so we'll see. She got materials from a Catholic organization. I can't think of the name at the moment...
We let her and her sister know early on what was on the minds of most boys and young men. I think we painted a pretty dire picture, but from what I hear from honest men, it wasn't exaggerated.
And we pray for her and her sister. I also told her that if the temptation became so strong that she didn't think she could control herself, that that was the time she think about getting married. I don't know how much that entered their decision, but I'm pretty sure they're entering their marriage as virgins. They're both 19.
An article that gave me a lot of peace about this early'ish marriage was written by Frederica Matthewes-Green. It's called "Let's Have More Teen Pregnancy." She makes the case that delaying marriage until the mid or late 20's causes many of our problems - STD's and unmarried pregnancies. Serial "break ups" are good practice for serial divorce.
I don't think you can say too much or too often. The world is so saturated with messages of unlimited sexual adventure that the message of purity is drowned unless shouted and repeated. It's good that you're telling them the truth and, I assume, all the ugliness that comes from unmarried sex. Good for you!
Jill
Here's a link to the article mentioned:
http://www.frederica.com/writings/lets-have-more-teen-pregnancy.html
Last edited on Fri Jun 27th, 2008 05:46 pm by JillD
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"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret." Ps 139
"Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men." Ps 140
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Ali
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 6th, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 661 |
| First Name: | Ali | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | JW, finally fully Catholic |
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 05:52 pm |
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JillD wrote: It's good that you're telling them the truth and, I assume, all the ugliness that comes from unmarried sex. Good for you!
Jill
Yes, but not just sex. About our bodies and how that all works in there. How our cycles are all different, what it really means to ovulate and why you may have all the signs and still not be releasing an egg. What mid cycles bleeding is, and why is occasionally occurs. What your chart looks like when you become pregnant. Those little incremental changes in our temps when we ovulate, and either when our menses start of implantation occur.
That's the kind of stuff I want her to know. Sex is sex, and even her school talks about about that, but this other stuff is sort of mysterious and easily misunderstood.
Even now that pregnancy is not a concern for my family, it is still good for me to chart my cycle so I can recognize and changes and pinpoint when I first noticed them and how I felt when it occurred. Then I can take that to my doc and we can discuss what may be the cause of those changes and if it is a concern or not and to tell them how long it has been going on exactly.
Ali
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 1657 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 06:03 pm |
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Tremendous kudos to Ali and Jill for providing this education. I think you're doing a marvelous job. My daughter is six, so that talk is a ways off yet.  My two older sons have been provided with various chastity resources (including talks at their youth group) and sound education on the topic.
Strangely enough, my wife got the "honors" of doing the birds and bees speech in both cases (probably because she is the home school teacher and it just came up, I guess). I woulda done it!
My father gave me the speech at age 15, as I recall, about five years too late. I had already heard all the stuff on the playground long since, and quite possibly knew more than he did on the subject, having read (unbeknownst to him) several books (not exactly Christian ones, but still highly educational about the basic issues).
I received a truly Christian view of sexuality for the first time at age 21 or 22, when my brother gave me an article, and then I heard a (good) teaching at the church I was attending. I promptly changed my then-liberal views (just as I did on the abortion issue as soon as I was educated about that, two or three years later). It is entirely possible with education, if we will just teach our children and other young people that we know. Kids aren't dumb. Even if they aren't exactly committed Christians they still have natuyral, sensible self-interest. They see the moral and familial wasteland that the sexual revolution has caused (courtesy of the good ole Baby Boom generation that I am part of), all around them.
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I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2000+ papers & web pages (absolutely free) & 16 apologetic books (for sale):
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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Ali
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 6th, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 661 |
| First Name: | Ali | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | JW, finally fully Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 11:51 am |
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UPDATE -- We received the book.
Be warned, though, it is graphic in a mature and intelligent way. Like most things are when discussing sex and bodily functions. You need a definite level of comfort to discuss these thing with a pre / teen, and you need a mature child as well. Mine is just on the cusp.
The book is aimed for girls starting at 14, mine is 12. There is one chapter about how to know when you are ready for sex, and some women sharing their "first time" stories. Not all of them are happy. A couple even mention abortion. I contemplated cutting that chapter out, but ended up gluing a cover over it instead. Because I could see us reading that and discussing it later in her teen years. But at 12, she isn't ready for it.
So all in all I like it and would recommend it. It would just be better if a Catholic author had written it in accord to Catholic/Christian teaching  And it is a great foundation for later practice of NFP.
HTH!
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