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Credo Catholic
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Posted: Sat Aug 11th, 2007 01:19 pm |
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Or rather, what does it mean to you to be head of your household?
Colossians 3:18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19) Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20) Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord 21) Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
My question is to the men who read this: What does it mean to you, really, to be the head of your household, in spiritual matters and in practical matters? Has our society put undue burdens on you, the way it has on women, to follow the commandments of God? Because honestly, most of us women are not seeing a lot of spiritual leadership going on! I'm not speaking of all men, there are many of you out there who are doing the best you can and it shows. But there are many more who never give it a thought, and it shows. Women are not feeling so loved and honored anymore. So I'm asking, what are practical ways men can become more godly in their roles as husbands and fathers? Are there ways that wives can help you acheive this?
Last edited on Mon Aug 13th, 2007 01:16 am by Credo Catholic
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Juan
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Posted: Sat Aug 11th, 2007 02:56 pm |
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1. Don't nag.
2. Obey like you promised to do. Don't pick other opinions above your husbands.
3. Be an example. Keep the commandments. Let your light shine.
4. Bear children.
As for me. I'm a very lucky man. The above statements come from experience.
When I was married to my wife, she was a church going Catholic who didn't understand her faith. But she went to Mass often. She always invited but didn't nag or offend if I said I was going to watch football.
She is also the most obedient woman that I know. When I decided we were going to homeschool our children, her family opposed the idea tooth and nail. But she obeyed her husband.
It was her example of attending the Mass and her gentle advice "the family that prays together stays together".did a great deal to keep me close to the Church.
However, it was the conception of our first child which I credit with turning me around 180 degrees.
And finally, from personal experience, I have found that all women in my life have been the Spiritual leaders. The men in my life have all been dead to the spirit. They've been carousers, drunkards, unfaithful to wife and to God. It has been the women in their lives who brought them around to faithfulness by their steadfast love.
It is probably the example of men like these men which gave rise to women's lib. Women didn't want to continue to be mistreated gand downtrodden so they decided to be more like men. But that is the wrong answer.
However, the prevailing wisdom seems to be that men are the spiritual leaders and women are to be taught by men how to be holy. But that has not been my experience. Far from it.
Sincerely,
Juan
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Credo Catholic
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Posted: Sat Aug 11th, 2007 03:32 pm |
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| I understand your comment about the men in your life who have not lived up to the teachings to live godly lives. One of my grandfathers was a godly man, a baptist preacher who lived his faith and was a great example. My mother was raised by him to be a Christian, and she raised me that way. My other grandfather never went to church to my knowledge. Neither did his son, my father. They were good men, not meanhearted or violent or neglectful in other ways, but there was no spirituality about them. Nor is there in my husband. So I just would like to hear from others that there is some of this going on in the real world. I have this idea of the Holy Family being our ideal. That men should be the head of the family in the way that Joseph was, and that women should be the heart of the family in the way that Mary was. Am I being too naive or idealistic?
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beachmoss
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Posted: Sat Aug 11th, 2007 05:23 pm |
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Credo Catholic wrote: I have this idea of the Holy Family being our ideal. That men should be the head of the family in the way that Joseph was, and that women should be the heart of the family in the way that Mary was. Am I being too naive or idealistic?
Marsha,
That's a beautiful idea, but I think that often the heart suffers when the head is too dominant. Unfortunately the body can't function well when the heart is ill. I know your post is aimed at the men, but I want to thow in my thoughts.
St. Joseph was a compassionate man and did everything he could for his family, after being "kicked" in that direction by an angel. Unfortunately, and in my experience, I think too many men heed satan's word and not God's. My husband has this idea that the way to take care of his family is to work a well paying job even though he's hardly around. I told him one day that he was too concerned with putting food on the table rather than being at the table.
He lost his first family this way, and if it weren't for my commitment to the Church and her teachings, he'd be minus his second now. Jesus has stood His ground between me and an attorney!
To use your beautiful example of head and heart--I think the head should be more concerned with the heart and its concern in familial matters. To use an analogy--my mind may say, "Hot Krispy Kremes! Let me scarf down a dozen!" But it should consider my heart screaming, "4000 calories! Hang on here!"
Being a Navy wife for ten long years I think I did a good job keeping the homefires burning. I understood at that time that I was called to be the head of the household, which I gladly accepted. But now that he's been retired for nearly two years I'm still waiting for him to step up to the plate and reclaim the position I handled for most of our 11.5 year marriage.
The heart is the pump that keeps the family going, but it will eventually wear out through stress. The head should be what holds everything together and guides the family along.
I feel like my family is a decapitated cockroach. The head has gone off and done it's own thing. The body continues to function for a long time, yet it finally thirsts to death because it cannot drink without the head. I believe that men need to realize that, even though they may not be as spiritual as their wives, they are there to allow the life-sustaining water to pass through to the body.
More later--I need to get ready for Mass.
Beth
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Juan
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Posted: Sat Aug 11th, 2007 07:39 pm |
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Am I being too naive or idealistic?
Not if you believe that is the way things should be. It is, in my opinion, what the Church teaches:
Colossians 3
18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it behoveth in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter towards them.
Titus 2
4 That they may teach the young women to be wise, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Ephesians 5
24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it: 28 So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself.
1 Peter 3
1 In like manner also let wives be subject to their husbands: that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word, by the conversation of the wives.
But if you mean that you thought men were the Spiritual leaders of the home in general, today. Then I've got a different impression. Although I have met people in whose homes the husband is the Spiritual leader. I believe those are few in comparison to the homes where the woman is the one reminding everyone to, for example, go to Mass, to say their prayers, to be humble, obedient, kind and otherwise in every way embodying the principles of Christian love.
Usually men are teaching their children anti-Christian values. Hit them back, hit them harder, don't cry, its funny when someone else falls and gets hurt, no pity, no mercy, rules are meant to be broken, don't tell your mom cause you know she won't agree.
Anyway, that is my impression. I hope that I am wrong.
In the meantime, I recommend this book:
The Privilege of being a Woman
Among other things, this book explains that women, because of their inherentl nurturing ability, are the heart and soul of the home. Therefore, it is they and not the man who educate the family, including the husband on the Christian value of Love and all that this virtue entails. This book confirmed many thngs I had begun to suspect. It is written by Alice von Hildebrand, whose husband Dietriech (May he rest in peace) is so highly regarded. I've never read any of his books. But if he's anywhere near as intelligent and incisive as his wife, they must have been a formidable couple.
Sincerely,
Juan
Last edited on Sat Aug 11th, 2007 07:40 pm by Juan
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Credo Catholic
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Posted: Mon Aug 13th, 2007 01:15 am |
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| Thank you Beachmoss and Juan, it seems that we are all on the same page. In a lot of families it is the wife and mother who instills the faith and values in the children and encourages them to live by those values. I do not in any way wish to downtrod men by this thread, in fact quite the opposite, I hope to hear some stories of how they have brought moral and christian values into being in their families. Are they teaching their children to live by the ten commandments? Do they love and honor their children's mother? Do you send the children off to bed, or go in and read a story and kiss them goodnight with a blessing? Do you read a goodnight story to your wife and kiss her with a blessing? Seriously! Do your wife and children see you active in the church or doing good in the community? Do you change the channel when a questionable show comes on, and then explain why you changed it? Do your wife and children know you are a Christian? Last edited on Mon Aug 13th, 2007 01:16 am by Credo Catholic
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BettyBoopToo
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Posted: Mon Aug 13th, 2007 03:01 am |
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Marsha
Thank you for starting this thread. I'm looking forward to hearing more answers from our Brothers on this topic. I'd really like them to also give their opinions of what we as woman can do to help our husbands along the road.
Juan; thank you for responding, you have always very good information to add to every thread. I find your first list of what woman should do or behave, as being very helpful for me to understand how I could better help my husband.
Thanks again Marsha
Betty
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Racaela Fultz
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Posted: Mon Aug 13th, 2007 10:59 am |
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I'm going to be weird here and say that I was raised in a community where essentially every husband and father is the spiritual leader for his family. Just sitting here I am thinking of family after family after family after family in which that is true. I guess I need to realize in what a unique position I was raised, and what a blessing that is. All the families that I know in the community where I was raised are still in their first marriages (none of them, and I mean none, are divorced), homeschool their children (and these children are usually quite numerous), attend church regularly, are involved, and pray together as a family. I'm so naive, I had thought that that was normal. The men in my community ARE the leaders. Of course, this community is also avidly fundamentalist, which is now creating problems for me...but at the same time, there are so many wonderful examples here.
And Marsha, of course Christ's family should be our ideal.
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Darlene
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Posted: Mon Aug 13th, 2007 07:54 pm |
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Racaela,
I honestly think, and this is my opinion, that this is one area where Fundamentalists have surpassed Catholics. I too, know many wonderful non-Catholic, Christian families where the husbands are the spiritual leaders. The pastor would preach from time to time of men's responsibility to be the spiritual leaders of their families. I have heard NUMEROUS sermons on this topic over the past few decades.
So, have any of the Catholics on this forum heard a homily preached on this topic? The only priest that I have heard preach on this topic is Father Corapi. But then he is in a league of his own. If I could choose, he would be my parish priest. All priests should have a holy boldness like him. He does not tickle the ears of his hearers. If they don't like what he says, then so be it. He knows that his calling is to preach the truth. Lord Jesus, give us more priests like Father Corapi.
OK, NOW WHERE ARE ALL THE COMMENTS FROM THE MEN OUT THERE? I said to myself when I read the title of this thread, I bet few men will comment on it, and far more women will participate. PLEASE MEN, DON'T MAKE MY FIRST SUSPICIONS COME TRUE. I'D LOVE TO HEAR WHAT ALL OF YOU HAVE TO SAY, AS WOULD MOST OF THE WOMEN ON THIS FORUM. And you don't have to be married. If you think you'll get married one day, what are your thoughts/comments? And yes, I purposefully typed in bold. That is because I have observed how silent many men can be when it comes to this issue. (outside of my faith community that is)
I'm waiting...
Darlene
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The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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Credo Catholic
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 12:24 am |
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| Okay, they're not interested! Why are the women so interested in how the men perceive being head of the household, and men don't want to talk about it? I can't answer for the men, but I have a comment from a woman's perspective. Wives are to be subject to their husbands as to the Lord. I think women are thirsting to see something of Christ in their husbands for this to happen. As Christ is the head of the church. He walked on earth in a manly, gentle way. He taught and healed, and never had to raise His voice or stomp around or prove Himself to be respected by His followers. He didn't seek power. But He was the most powerful man to ever live. He is the head of the church, and the model for men. This is an important point if women are to subject themselves. I think probably the men who use this forum are already attempting to live holy lives, and that make a big difference in their relationships. But many of us are out here living day to day with husbands who don't know a Bible from a dictionary. It's hard to look up to someone who doesn't even try. Even if they are great in many other ways, that lack of faith permeates everything. Is there a way to evangelize a husband who just doesn't care?
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CajunRick
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 08:44 am |
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Credo Catholic wrote: Why are the women so interested in how the men perceive being head of the household, and men don't want to talk about it?
Honestly, because it seems like bragging. If I boast, let it be in the Lord.
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Rick Luquette
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Darlene
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 10:27 am |
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CajunRick wrote: Credo Catholic wrote: Why are the women so interested in how the men perceive being head of the household, and men don't want to talk about it?
Honestly, because it seems like bragging. If I boast, let it be in the Lord.
Sorry Rick, I don't buy that excuse. All Credo was asking on this post is what does it mean to be head of the household. You could just give some tips and not even point to yourself. After all, if we look to St. Paul, he taught about this very subject and he wasn't even married. Furthermore, he said he had reason to "be proud of his work in Christ Jesus." And elsewhere he spoke of "boasting" in the Lord.
So men, what does it mean to be head of the household? Just give some of your OBJECTIVE opinions. You needn't mention how your household operates, just what you think the ideal should be.
Again, I am waiting...
Darlene
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The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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Darlene
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 11:03 am |
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BTW, as assertive as I may seem on this forum, I can honestly say that my husband is the head of our household and has always been just that. He never refers to me as "the boss" or "the one who wears the pants." He finds this detestable when men use these expressions to refer to their wives.
Since the men have been silent (except for Juan) thus far, I will include one of my ideals which I think every man should have.
God is a jealous God. He sent Christ to die for the sins of the world. Christ's Church was born out of our Lord's shed blood and His suffering. Jesus Christ paid the highest price for His Bride, the Church by giving His life up for her. "Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his brethren." Now Christ is seated at the right hand of God, and He fights on our behalf. "The reason the Son of Man came was to destroy the works of the devil." He intercedes for His bride day and night. Jesus Christ is warrior and he calls us to be warriors as well.
Now when we consider that husbands are a figure for Christ and wives a figure for the Church, we see just how awesome our calling as Christians is. Man, as head of the wife, must be willing to fight for and defend his wife when she is mistreated. They must be willing to "stand in the gap" for their beloved and protect them from those forces that would harm them. Therefore, they must be brave and not cowardly. Did not our holy Father, Pope John Paul II say,"Be not afraid?"
Men, do not be afraid to love your wives unto death. I loved that song from Robin Hood which said, "I would fight for you. I would die for you." Chivalry, it has been said, is dead. Yet, the knights of old would pledge their lives for the lady whom they loved. Does this sound too romantic? Well, read Song of Solomon. There we learn the depth of love between a man and a woman, between Christ and His Church.
"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death." S.o S. 8:6 " I adjure you, Oh daughter of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him I am sick with love. What is your beloved more than another beloved, O fairest among women? What is your beloved more than another beloved, that you thus adjure us? My beloved is all radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven. His eyes are like doves beside springs of water, bathed in milk, fitly set." S. of S. 5:8-12
Read on in the fifth chapter of Song of Solomon. Here we have a beautiful description of Christ from His bride. This interconnectedness of unbroken, unfailing love permeates the Song of Solomon. The bride can love her husband because she knows of his devotion to her. He would do whatever it takes to sustain his lovely bride and keep her pure. She, in response to his love and commitment, cannot help but devote herself completely to him. There is no love as beautiful as this love. No love as sacrificial.
May each of our marriages grow in reflection of Christ and His beautiful Bride.
Darlene
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The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. II Corinthians 13:14
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David W. Emery
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 01:12 pm |
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Credo Catholic wrote:Is there a way to evangelize a husband who just doesn't care?
I think this is the fundamental question behind the thread. And the answer that I can give is: If your spouse is lukewarm, he is self centered and will not respond unless there is a crisis that forces him to defend himself. But then the response is usually negative, and the results are temporary. I have to be pessimistic about your chances for improvement.
This is why the Holy Spirit says of the lukewarm: “I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing; not knowing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked” (Revelation 3:15–17). The poverty, blindness and nakedness are pervasive.
Darlene wrote:Men, do not be afraid to love your wives unto death.
My own parents, after years of self-centered bickering, divorced after I reached adulthood. It was a devastating experience for me even in my twenties. Everything about it reeked of “wrong.”
My story is not the mainstream one. My wife and I were married rather late in life, and it took us several years to get a handle on the change. What eventually emerged was an equal partnership, not a domination of one by the other. My wife was better at some things, I was better at others. So we each did our part and met in the middle. In this way we learned to be each other’s helpmate. Our mutual love sustained us.
Crises have a way of cementing a relationship if that relationship is good to begin with. When my wife became ill with Alzheimer’s disease about 10 years ago, I saw that I was being called to take over the reins completely. I was very reluctant to do this, for we had been equal partners until then. But she was no longer capable of carrying her part of the load.
After three years of keeping her at home, the increasing burden convinced me that neither of us would survive unless she were placed in an institution. With heavy heart, I arranged it. We both cried for months afterwards.
For me it was like widowhood; I went through all the stages and symptoms. But she is safe where she is, and by the grace of God she is still alive and aware of who I am. I visit her twice a week, and she is quite talkative in a stream-of-consciousness sort of way. Our mutual love still sustains us both.
Head of the household? I think even now the responsibilities that I carry speak to this.
David
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CajunRick
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 02:13 pm |
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OK, here's my idea of how to be a head of household. It's not in what a husband does, it is in his attitude. He must be totally devoted to his wife and children, second only to his devotion to God. He must be willing to say and mean SHMILY at every moment of every day not only to his wife, but also to his children, his parents, his grandchidren, and his in-laws. And he must be willing to let them see him pray, and to pray with them. From my web site:
SHMILY
My grandparents were married over 50 years and played their own special game from the time they met each other. The goal of their game was to write the word "SHMILY" in a surprise place for the other to find.
They took turns leaving "SHMILY" around the house and as soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more. They dragged "SHMILY" with their fingers through the sugar flour containers, to await whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared it in the dew on the windows.
"SHMILY" was written on the steamed mirror, after a hot shower, and would reappear bath after bath. At one point my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper, to leave "SHMILY" on the very last sheet. There were no end to where the word "SHMILY" would pop up. Little notes on steering wheels, dashboards, car-seats, stuffed inside shoes, left under pillows. "SHMILY" was written in the dust upon the mantle, traced in the ashes of a fireplace. This mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents house as the furniture. It took me a long time before I was fully able to appreciate my grandparent's game.
Skepticism has kept me from believing in true love ... one that is pure and enduring. However, I never doubted their relationship, they had love down pat. It was more than their flirtatious little game, it was a way of life. Their love was based on devotion and passionate affection, which very few ever find. Grandpa & Grandma held hands every chance they could, stole little kisses as they passed each other in the house, finished each other's sentences, and shared the same daily crossword puzzles. She would whisper to me how "cute" my grandpa was, how handsome he had gotten as he grew older. She claimed that she really knew "how to pick 'em".
Before every meal they would hold hands and bow their heads and thank God for their meal, blessings, wonderful family, good fortune, and each other. But Grandma had breast cancer for 10 years. Grandpa was with her every step of the way, loving and comforting her. It was now attacking her body again. With the help of a cane and my grandfather's steady hand, they went to church every morning. Grandma grew increasingly weaker until finally, she could not leave the house any longer. For a while, Grandpa would go to church alone, praying to God to watch over his wife.
Then one day, she was finally gone. "SHMILY". It was scrawled on her ribbons of the funeral bouquet. As the crowd thinned out and only family was gathered around Grandma for the last time, Grandpa stepped up to the casket and in a shaky voice began to sing to her, a deep throaty lullaby. With tears in my eyes (I know I will never forget that moment) I knew, although I couldn't fathom the depth of their love, I had been privileged to witness its unmatched beauty.
S-H-M-I-L-Y See How Much I Love You Last edited on Tue Aug 14th, 2007 02:17 pm by CajunRick
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
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heardclarke
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 05:13 pm |
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Wow, Rick, that is awesome. It really does speak to the issue at the heart of marriage. When both people are offering themselves in love the power struggle thing is no problem. It's not about "protecting my rights," it's about "doing the right thing!" as Dr. Laura would say.
I got hurt while the family was exploring in Massachusetts on vacation. I couldn't walk without help. My husband's strength and gentleness as he helped me get back to the car are etched on my memory. I was in a lot of pain. (I was fine after a couple of days.) He was totally focused, loving and calm. I never talked to him about it later, but I only have to stop and remember that afternoon when I need to adjust my attitude.
I often do need to adjust it, unfortunately, but at least the Church teaches us what we are to try for. We do have a lot less friction in the home than we did before we "came home." When there is an argument it is easier to recover, too.
Thanks also to Juan, for those 4 simple suggestions. Now, if I can just folllow through....
Lisa
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Credo Catholic
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 08:36 pm |
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| Thank you everyone. When I get the tears dried, I'm going to print this posting, and read it everytime I get discouraged. God bless you all.
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Credo Catholic
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| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
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| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Aug 14th, 2007 11:56 pm |
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| Darlene you got it exactly right, what I'm trying to say about the roles of man and woman. Man was created in the image of God, man is to the wife what Christ is to the church. The beautiful stories people have shared here give testimony to how wonderful that relationship can be if we try to do it right. In RCIA we were taught during the Theology of the Body section, that marriage is a foretaste of heaven. I have struggled to understand what they meant by that. But lately I have come to understand just what you said above. It is desirable and biblical for a man to provide for his family, to protect it, to cherish it. But the underlying source of this love must come from a desire to follow Christ's directive, in order for it to be really meaningful. That is being head of the domestic church, his home.
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BettyBoopToo
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| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
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| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Aug 16th, 2007 03:29 am |
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Rick
Thank you so very much for sharing that with us! That's the most beautiful story that I've heard in a very long time.
S-H-M-I-L-Y
See How Much I Love You
What an amazing example they were to their family. You were very blessed that they were your grandparents.
Thank you and God Bless
Betty
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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BettyBoopToo
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| Location: | Camas/Washougal, Washington USA |
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| First Name: | Betty | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Fist Baptist/Calvary Babtist/Secular Confusion/ Roman Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Aug 16th, 2007 03:51 am |
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Darlene wrote:
So, have any of the Catholics on this forum heard a homily preached on this topic? The only priest that I have heard preach on this topic is Father Corapi. But then he is in a league of his own. If I could choose, he would be my parish priest. All priests should have a holy boldness like him. He does not tickle the ears of his hearers. If they don't like what he says, then so be it. He knows that his calling is to preach the truth. Lord Jesus, give us more priests like Father Corapi.
Darlene
Last Advent we had a visiting pastor come and he preached on husbands being the spiritual head of the family.
I bought the CD in hopes my husband would one day listen to it with me. the priest was Rev. Phillip F. Chavez, SOLT it called "The Quest for Masculine Identity"
I see your another Father Corapi fan. So am I, and the funny thing, as bold as his preaching is, My husband likes to listen and watch his audio's and video's with me.
He was a speaker at two different Catholic Family Conferences that I attended I even got to talk with him for a few minutes and he blessed my new rosary for me.
He has tons of great talks on all different topics on his web-site. I love his programs too. His series on "Spiritual Combat" and "End Game" are both very good.
God Bless
Betty
____________________
Patience
"Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent."
St. John of the Cross
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Credo Catholic
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Posted: Thu Aug 16th, 2007 04:30 pm |
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David, I cared for my father the last year of his life until he died of alzheimers disease. He lived alone for 24 years and did very well with the help of a housekeeper once a week, and the companionship of a very nice lady he had met, they went a lot of places together and were company to each other. I know a little of what you must be going through, although it's not the same as losing a life partner, a spouse.
My father was an alcoholic from the earliest time I can remember. He was not the typical alchoholic, he was soft spoken, very mild and kind, loved to joke and was devoted to my mother. He told me wonderful stories and taught me how to draw, and play golf, and lots of other things over the years. But, he just came home every night and watched TV and drank until he went to bed. I was not allowed to drink soda from his glass because there was "medicine" in it. Over the years it got progressively worse, of course, and to shorten the story a little, my mom gave him an ultimatum, stop drinking or she would leave. He tried a few times but failed.
Then my mother developed breast cancer and my dad had to care for her. At first he had difficulty, but he finally checked into a rehab program in a local hospital that lasted about six weeks. While he was there, I delivered my son, and immediately called him to give him the wonderful news. Back then we didn't know what sex our babies would be! The nurses made an exception and let him come to the phone for a few minutes, and he was elated. Anyway, while he was there, one of the other patients was a nice black lady who went in the same day he did. I will call her Mamie. She had been through a terrible life, suffering many things including alcoholism. But, she couldn't read so she had a difficult time with the study materials. My dad was having a hard time washing and ironing his clothes while there. So they made a deal, he read to Mamie while she did his clot | | |
