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brian
Member
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Chicago South Burbs, Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 803 |
| First Name: | brian | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | methodist, evangelical, anglican, catholic |
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Posted: Tue Aug 28th, 2007 03:02 am |
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As someone who could get married at some point in the coming years I had some questions about deciding how to do it and what options are available.
Is it always mandatory to be registered where you intend to marry? Or is this up to the rules of each parish? Most seem to insist on it. The problem I find is that a wedding is one of those things you want to do perfect and always remember etc. Well, there are only a handful of churches that I find to actually be the type of church you would want to be married in. Many I do not think are nearly as beautiful as they could be.
And if a couple could get to choose the church they want even if neither of them attend their can they also have a favorite priest marry them. It only makes sense to me that you would want to be married by the priest who knows you the best. But do you have to have the ceremony at that priest's church?
I do not want to sound selfish, but a lot of this is trying to find what would work best for the person I could potentially marry and her family.
Some specific issues I face is that I am currently registered at a Byzantine parish. I could be married their with permisiion fromt the Bishop. However, I think this would go poorly for our families who know nothing of this culture. Also the parish itself is too small to effectively host a weding. Also, whilke I have some discerning to do over the next few years about potentially changing rites offcially, I may not have decided to change or may decide against it by the time I may end up getting married. But I wanted to stay registered there throughout that time. I would like to get married there, but I think it works poorly for the family. One interesting reason is that they do not have certain customs that famileis look forward to all of their lives when they think of marriage. There are no vows and there is no bridal procession, which means no giving of the bride away as it were, or kissing the bride. I respect and even like the reasons that thet do things the way they do, but it could or would be a big problem to explain it to a father who has dreamed of the idea of walking down tha aisle with his daughter since she was a little girl. And I can certainly understand that and certainly do not want a marriage to start off on such hurtful grounds toward a family that already has some difficulty with the Catholic faith, but is actually showing more signs of acceptance here and there. Plus I am a Latin rite Catholic and have many relationships with other Latin Rite and some priests, and I would not mind at all having a ceremony in this rite. But if I am not registered at any Latin Rite parish I am wondering if I can do anything to arrange a wedding or if I would need to register for a period of time at a church I did think would be a good weding church, but that feels like it would be little bit done for the wrong reasons to me. By the way, I know the custom is to be married in the church of the bride, but she is not Catholic and if she were to become Catholic between now and then it is most likely she would do so as a Byzantine Catholic as well, as we both feel a stronger call to be a aprt of that worship and community than to anywhere else. I guess I am wondering if I know a priest well enough like the one who initiated me into the church and asked him for help or someone else I was close with in a leadership position if they could help figure out a way to get it doen when and if the time comes and make sure that we were still held accountable to the right amount of counseling and discernment that is mandatory for most couples in my archdiocese.
Brian
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5348 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Tue Aug 28th, 2007 09:05 am |
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Brian, with the permission of bishops and pastors involved, you can be married in any church by any priest. Permission is necessary to avoid "church shopping" if, for example, one priest refuses to marry a couple cohabitating prior to the marriage and another will allow it. Such permissions are routinely given.
Say, for example, a person has moved away from a parish but wants to get married in the family's former parish, or a couple wants their wedding pictures to be in the church where their parents' were married, or where they were baptized, etc. All of these are valid reasons why someone might want to be married in a different parish. A priest friend might perform the ceremony, or a relative, or sometimes even a parent of one of the spouses (a married or widowed deacon or priest), or even a confessor, spiritual director, or high school friend. A former pastor of mine presided at the wedding of his former high school girlfriend.
Anything can be worked out as long as the reasons are legitimate.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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vee12
Member
| Joined: | Mon Aug 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | Japan |
| Posts: | 22 |
| First Name: | vee12 | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Aug 30th, 2007 04:21 am |
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This doesnt really answer your question but I just wanted to add that the priest doesnt marry the couple they confer the sacrament on each other. With all the fuss that surrounds weddings one thing is often forgotten which is basically it's between the couple and God. Of course its nice to have family and friends there to celebrate and act as witnesses, its nice to have all the traditional trimmings people expect, and Im not trying to dismiss those things but they come second.
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