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beachmoss
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Simpsonville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 298 |
| First Name: | Beth | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic (raised Baptist) |
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 12:18 am |
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We missed mass last Sunday. We were on vacation and we had trouble locating the church. Well, I had hoped to be home to attend the evening mass at a nearby church. We actually made it home in time, but I was so tired I conked out when we got home and we missed that.
I will be going to confession tomorrow for that. Should my two kids--ages 9 and 8, who are communicants, be advised to also confess this? They are too young to drive so it was my responsibility to take them. I do not feel that as minors they have any accountability for this. Am I correct?
Beth
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David W. Emery
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 2522 |
| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 02:46 am |
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I agree with you, Beth. The children are dependent on others to enable them to attend Mass and therefore cannot be held responsible for someone else’s failure. You, too, made a conscientious effort to fulfill your obligation both to God and to the children, so I do not see your missing Mass in this instance as a mortal sin. Nevertheless, I agree that you should talk to your confessor about it and let him show you the way.
David
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beachmoss
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Simpsonville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 298 |
| First Name: | Beth | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic (raised Baptist) |
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 03:10 am |
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Thanks, David!
Beth
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DrDave
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Mildura, Australia |
| Posts: | 289 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Cradle - Lapsed - Renewed Catholic |
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 06:51 am |
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While I don't disagree with David, it might be an opportue moment to point out that missing mass is 'grave matter'. Not suggesting that the other two components required for it to be 'mortal' are present, but the rule of thumb that I try to go by is to confess all 'grave sins' and erring on the side of caution rather than to run the risk of rationalising away a 'mortal sin'.
Regards Doc
____________________
NB: 'DrDave' is a nickname from college not and indication of academic achievement.
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David W. Emery
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 2522 |
| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 01:34 pm |
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Correct, Dave. This is why I recommended that Beth mention the incident to her confessor even though it appears that she did not commit a mortal sin. If the confessor judges that a sin was committed, even a venial one, it can be absolved. And meanwhile, everyone involved can be enlightened as to the gravity of willfully missing Mass. The confessor may, in fact, counsel an informative session with the children.
David
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CajunRick
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 02:58 pm |
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I agree that there was no mortal sin on their part, but I think I would encourage them to confess.
First, did they make every reasonable effort to attend mass? Did they nag you and try to find other transportation? Did they ask if you could drop them off at church and pick them up after? I know they're rather young to be doing this on their own, but I think it's an opportunity to show them that they are responsible for their own salvation, and that is a lesson best learned at an early age.
Second, I think it's important to show them that they bear responsibility for their own actions. That will be a very valuable lesson later in their teen years when they are deciding whether to yield to peer pressure or remain firm in the faith.
So while I don't think they are horrible sinners, I do think it's an opportunity to demonstrate a valuable lesson.
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beachmoss
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Simpsonville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 298 |
| First Name: | Beth | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic (raised Baptist) |
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Posted: Wed Aug 13th, 2008 05:24 pm |
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Thanks for the responses.
To Rick--no, they did nag or beg to go. In fact they were quite happy we missed. This is one thing I struggle with every Sunday. "I hate going! It's sooo boring!" Well, I can sympathize to an extent. Our priest, wonderful man that he is, is a horrible homilist. This is where I lose them every week. They are usually well behaved until the homily. And honestly, I sometimes zone out then too.
I try making them understand that they are there to be with Jesus, not Father. But it's hard. Having a Protestant part-time father I'm sure does not help either. On the Sundays he's with us I always hear, "But Daddy butt-kneels why can't I? Why doesn't Daddy receive communion?" And he usually has his eyes closed--sleeping, not praying, so I have to mind the kids. (Argh. He's a whole 'nother topic anyway.)
So we went to confession Saturday. I asked the kids if they wanted to go. I strongly suggested to my son that he go for some of the mean things he's being doing, but they didn't want to.
As it ended up, I didn't even get to confess. Confessions are heard from 4-5, with mass at 5:15. I got there at 4:10. A woman was just entering the confessional when I got there. I sat in line. what I thought was the third person in line. Well, this woman was in there 40 minutes! Then a man who had been nowhere in the church--perhaps standing by the confessional door, jumped in line. He was still in at 5:00 when the usher announced that was last confession. So the rest of us in line had to walk away.
Good news-- my daughter is quite willing to go this Saturday, as she was terribly behaved on Sunday. Sunday afternoon she said, "Mommy, I want to apologize to you and Jesus about the way I acted today." I told her that the best way to apologize to Jesus was to go to confession. I hope I can get her father to take her on Saturday, and that she will be willing to go without me.
Beth
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Truthseeker
Member
| Joined: | Wed Oct 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | Costa Mesa, California USA |
| Posts: | 481 |
| First Name: | Laura | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | lapsed and returned CATHOLIC!!!!!! |
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Posted: Sat Sep 6th, 2008 08:00 pm |
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I do not make my children confess missing Mass when it's my fault, and I don't require them to abstain from communion. With my thirteen year old, she recently decided that she hates church (within the past year) and so would refuse to get up in the morning. I required her to abstain from communion until confession, because her missing Mass was her own stubborn choice. It has been a downward spiral from there, though. She stopped receiving the Lord, refused confession, and then quit attending church, altogether. Out of three children, I only have one left, who attends with me (and rare confession).
Laura
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Lord, please make my will your Will!
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