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youngone88
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| Joined: | Wed Apr 30th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 14 |
| First Name: | Stephen | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lutheran-Evangelical-soon to be Catholic? (still seeking) |
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Posted: Wed May 7th, 2008 07:52 am |
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Hi everyone! I'm pretty new to the faith (not official...yet), but i have a question.
I want to make a confession soon (I've been baptized as a Lutheran so from what I understand i can do this?)
I'm concerned about past sins, particularly lies I have told. I may sound selfish and unholy, but I'm very afraid of revealing the truths behind these lies (and half-truths) to my friends and family. Will I have to let them all know that I lied and what I lied about to be forgiven in confession? I'm afraid of damaging my relationship with my loved ones rather deeply, but I bet that at least half of that worry is about myself and is therefore no reason to immediately dismiss this option.
Also, what if you say something, and at the time you think it's true...but later on think you might be mistaken (i'm actually not really sure if I am or not)?
thanks again for taking the time!
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5157 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Wed May 7th, 2008 11:38 am |
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youngone88 wrote: Hi everyone! I'm pretty new to the faith (not official...yet), but i have a question.
We're glad to have you with us, Stephen. Welcome to the forum.
I want to make a confession soon (I've been baptized as a Lutheran so from what I understand i can do this?)
You must first declare before the congregation that you accept and believe all that the Catholic Church teaches and believes. Contact the pastor of your local parish and ask how previously baptized Christians are prepared in your parish/diocese. You can't just show up for confession to become Catholic; it's a little more involved than that.
Will I have to let them all know that I lied and what I lied about to be forgiven in confession?
Usually not, unless it's appropriate to the nature of the sin. For example, if you lied on a witness stand and the wrong person sits in jail based on your false testimony, you cannot retain the lie but must recant what you said. This would be considered part of making restitution. Your priest will advise, you, but only under the most extreme circumstances would he withhold absolution if you feel unable to reveal the truth in minor matters.
Also, what if you say something, and at the time you think it's true...but later on think you might be mistaken (i'm actually not really sure if I am or not)?
I'm not sure just what you mean here. I lie is a deliberate fabrication of the truth. A mistake is not a grave sin.
Again, welcome to the forum and to the Catholic faith. We're glad to have you with us.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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David W. Emery
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Brownsville, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 1865 |
| First Name: | David | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic |
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Posted: Wed May 7th, 2008 12:29 pm |
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Hi Stephen. I see that this is your first post, so I’ll say a big “Howdy!” here, before I proceed.
It’s very natural for people coming into the Church to be apprehensive about the sacrament of penance — basically fear of the unknown. Once you experience it, however, you will most likely find it consoling and helpful. Its purpose is to provide you with the grace and truth of the gospel to help you grow as a Christian, to uproot sin and plant virtue in its place. This is what makes you a better person, a holy person. It makes you worthy of respect.
Your question has to do with what in moral theology is called “reparation” — repairing the damage one has done through sin. Sometimes this is possible, sometimes not. For instance, if you have spoken lies against someone’s good name, it’s pretty much impossible to put that genie back in the bottle, because the word has already spread. But if you’ve said some recent falsehoods about your intentions, it may be possible to make good on those intentions. But often as not, what friends and family look to most in a person is not direct reparation for past wrongs (what amounts to revenge) but a change in attitude and behavior (for they really want what is best for you). In other words, they are willing to forget the past altogether if they see you becoming a better person. In fact, you may find that many of those you have lied to are already aware of the lies (and the truth!) and are just waiting and praying for you to “catch on” and reform your ways. This makes formal reparation much less needful.
Basically, then, this sort of thing must be taken on a case by case basis. It’s something that you and the priest will have to hash out right there in the confessional. I have seldom been told that I must make reparation of a direct sort (in other words, it doesn’t even come up unless I mention it), and when I have, it has been relatively easy to do so.
What if you say something, and at the time you think it's true...but later on think you might be mistaken?
Now this is a totally different thing. It’s not a sin, but an error. One can be mistaken about something without offending God. That happens to all of us just because we are creatures and don’t know everything. Sin requires a bad intention, which you don’t have if you are just mistaken.
One of the big problems in our times is the notion that reality resides within each person’s awareness. This notion is quite false. We exist within God’s reality, not the other way around. His creation is reality, not our awareness of it. This is what makes error possible: our thoughts or acts do not match the objective reality. If subjectivity (reality being a product of our awareness) were true, then error would be impossible; we would always be right. But there is evidence in the conflicts we have with others that shows how mistaken subjectivity really is. Basically, any time you experience a conflict with someone or something, that is the time to alert yourself to the fact that you may be in error.
But there is also another problem: doubt, rash judgment and general “mouthing off” can all come into play when you are talking about things that you really don’t know much about.
Doubt: This is one of the things I see in your question. You have not ascertained the facts before forming an opinion. Now you see yourself, when presented with the facts, wondering what the truth really is. This is a sign that you need to go back to the question I expressed above of what constitutes reality — the subjective or the objective. You need to adjust your thinking to the reality that is, instead of the “reality” you would prefer.
Rash judgment: I mentioned that you have not ascertained the facts before forming an opinion. This is rash judgment. You have jumped in your car and driven off without any idea of where you are going. How can you expect to arrive at your destination if you have no destination? The remedy, of course, is to back off on the opinion and try to understand the reality. Then, and only then, can one reasonably form an opinion and express it. Otherwise others will see him as full of hot air and self assertion.
Mouthing off: This is the point I just made: being full of hot air and self assertion. Usually a person who does this is anxious to be accepted and well thought of — but he is clueless on so many things that he comes across as a blowhard instead of a cool kid. There’s a proverb that says, Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. The blowhard has not learned this lesson.
My final observation will be on this point:
I'm afraid of damaging my relationship with my loved ones rather deeply, but I bet that at least half of that worry is about myself and is therefore no reason to immediately dismiss this option.
This is a big truth. Human nature has a big ego and wants to impress. Christian teaching, however, is that humility, not pride, is the virtue and the right way to go. Without humility, we tend to be self-centered, just as you describe. With humility, we allow love to function instead of pride.
Love is not an emotion but an act of the human will: this is not what the world teaches, but it is at the very heart of Christian teaching, and everyone’s salvation hangs in the balance. Without real love — the act of benevolence toward another, no matter what we feel inside — Christianity is a dead letter. We call this kind of love “charity.” You can read about it in the bible, 1 Corinthians 13. Notice that St. Paul calls it “a better way.” The other way is the world’s way and leads to perdition. Charity works hand in hand with humility to produce the mighty works of the saints.
OK, I’ve gone on quite a while. Now I have to get ready for work. We’ll see if what I’ve said is of any worth. Let me know what you need explained further.
David
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 1509 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Thu May 8th, 2008 06:28 pm |
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| Welcome, Stephen. I think you'll like it here and find it to be a great support group.
____________________
I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2000+ papers & web pages (absolutely free) & 16 apologetic books (for sale):
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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youngone88
Member
| Joined: | Wed Apr 30th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 14 |
| First Name: | Stephen | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lutheran-Evangelical-soon to be Catholic? (still seeking) |
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Posted: Fri May 9th, 2008 09:14 am |
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Thank you guys! that helps alot.
I must say though that its tough to wait until I'm official to confess. Now that I actually believe the Church's teachings, running around the world without access to confession feels like living without a shower.
I'll look for a good priest to discuss these things further. I tried this one parish, but the priest didn't seem to think being Catholic or confessing was all that important, so my search continues...
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5157 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Fri May 9th, 2008 11:40 am |
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youngone88 wrote: I must say though that its tough to wait until I'm official to confess.
You can visit a priest and confess your sins, and he will give you reassurance of God's forgiveness and spiritual encouragement, but he will not be able to give you sacramental absolution until you are ready to join the Catholic Church. You really don't need to wait to admit your sinfulness and seek God's forgiveness through the Church.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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