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spiritquest
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 3 |
| First Name: | Christi | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic |
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Posted: Sun Jan 21st, 2007 12:29 am |
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I've got a little issue I hope someone can advise me on. I'm from a Southern Baptist family and my husband is a Lutheran from a Lutheran family. My husband is in the military and we are stationed far from either of our home states. I am currently going through the RCIA class at my local parish, and I'm due to give birth to our second child in May.
If we were to have our baby baptised in the Catholic Church, where should we find Godparents? Neither of us have family or friends that are Catholic. I know that the parish can assign a sponsor (I am assuming that I will get assigned a sponsor for my confirmation this year), but is it right to have an assigned Godparent, even though we know we will probably not even know that person for long, considering that we are expecting to be reassigned to another military base within the next year? I have not even had any friends for longer than a year or two at a time. It seems like being a "Godparent" is a long commitment, not for someone you are only going to know for a short time.
Would it be better to have our baby baptised in the Lutheran church like our daughter was, where my husband has family that can act as Godparents. I know that the baptism would be valid, but I was not sure what is the most ethical thing to do. Thanks for any advice, and I hope that I asked this question in the proper forum!
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"Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried." --G.K. Chesterton
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5457 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Sun Jan 21st, 2007 12:55 am |
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Hi, Christi, welcome to CHN! We're glad to have you here, and look forward to you posting your story of how you came to the Catholic faith when you are comfortable posting it.
The Church requires one Catholic sponsor/godparent. This person must be a practicing Catholic. Those who are not Catholic may stand as well, but they are considered "Christian witnesses" and not godparents.
Consult with your priest, but one option is for you to ask a close friend to be the godparent, and then ask members of your family to stand as witnesses, by proxy if necessary. You should first ask them if they would be willing to commit to having your child raised in the Catholic faith if it should be necessary.
I understand somewhat the problem of being in the military; my son-in-law is completing his 20th year in the Air Force. He and my daughter have been married for a little over 8 years, and in that time they have made friends that they remain in contact with. Perhaps a friend who you've remained close to, by email and telephone if nothing else, could stand as the sponsor. It can be done by proxy if necessary.
There are many options. All Christian baptisms are recognized by the Church, so a Lutheran baptism is not out of the question since you have not yet joined the Church, but how would your family members feel about a commitment to raise your child in the Catholic faith? How would you feel about the possibility of knowing that if something happened to you and your husband, your child might be raised in a faith you no longer consider valid? And the permission of your bishop might be required in order for the baptism to not be considered a repudiation of your newfound Catholic faith. I simply don't know how this would be considered from the Church's standpoint. I know that with advance permission of the bishop a marriage in a Protestant church can be recognized in certain circumstances, but I've never encountered this exact situation before.
It's a delicate situation. There are many possibilities, and it could be that this is something that comes up in the military often enough that the Military Archdiocese may have procedures in place to handle it. I would strongly encourage you to discuss this with your parish priest before proceeding.
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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beachmoss
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Simpsonville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 292 |
| First Name: | Beth | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic (raised Baptist) |
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Posted: Wed Jan 24th, 2007 07:07 pm |
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Hi, Christi!
Rick gave you a great reply, as he always does.
I thought I'd throw in my two cents from personal experience. My husband was in the Navy when our kids were born and baptised. We chose very close friends of his who are Catholic to be goparents. When our first was baptised we and the godfather were in Norfolk, VA. His wife was living in FL at the time and flew up for the baptism.
When our second was baptised we were still in Norfolk, but they had moved to Arkansas, where he had just begun a new job. They couldn't make it, but my parents (both Southern Baptists) stood in as proxies for the godparents. All they had to do was stand with us and make the promises to raise the child in the faith for the missing godparents. The responsility still lay with the godparents.
For #3 the godparents were able to come to SC for her baptism. Our oldest is making his First Communion this year, and I'm praying his godparents will be here for that!
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spiritquest
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 3 |
| First Name: | Christi | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic |
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Posted: Mon Sep 3rd, 2007 04:35 pm |
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Well, my son is almost 4 months old and we still do not have a Godparent. There are a three Catholics in my hubby's unit. He is reluctant to ask any of them because they are just aquaintences and we are about to move again in December. I do not really have any friends at my parish because it is so hard to meet people at Mass when we are concentrating on other things besides socializing. I am unable to go to the Bible study classes because my husband's church has their band rehearsals that night.
Anyway, is it OK to just find SOME Catholic person to stand in so we can have our son baptized? It is important enough not to deny him this, right? It may take years to develop a close friend and we have no one in the family to do it.
____________________
"Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried." --G.K. Chesterton
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beachmoss
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Simpsonville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 292 |
| First Name: | Beth | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Catholic (raised Baptist) |
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Posted: Mon Sep 3rd, 2007 11:10 pm |
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Christi,
I know how hard military life can be! While my husband was in I made a few good friends that I still remain in touch with, although we many miles apart. So perhaps you will remain close to your child's Godparents even if you are physically separated.
Could your own sponsor take on the role of your child's Godparent?
I hope this can be of some help. I know some of what you are going through and my prayers are with you.
Beth
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TT17Claret
Member
| Joined: | Fri Aug 24th, 2007 |
| Location: | Summerville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 22 |
| First Name: | Tony T | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | cradle Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Sep 4th, 2007 03:24 pm |
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Christi,
Welcome! I think the idea above of having your RCIA sponsor also be your child's godparent has merit. After all, your sponsor should be (or become) a very close friend to you. In Spanish, we use the words Padrino/Madrina to denote both a baptism godparent and a confirmation sponsor. The roles are pretty much similar.
TT
____________________
Do NOT be discouraged, even Moses started out as a basket case.
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spiritquest
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 3 |
| First Name: | Christi | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic |
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Posted: Tue Sep 4th, 2007 07:39 pm |
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Unfortunately, I have not seen or heard from my sponsor since Easter. I never got his number or anything.
Anyway, once I started going to Mass again after having my baby, I joined a different parish-- one with a nursery. Taking two little children into Mass all by myself is too scary for me! hehe (My husband provides music at a Baptist church and doesn't attend with me.)
____________________
"Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried." --G.K. Chesterton
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5457 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Tue Sep 4th, 2007 11:38 pm |
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Unfortunately, the roles of godparents, confirmation sponsors, and RCIA sponsors are poorly understood. Part of the reason is that it is a multi-purpose position.
A godparent should be a person of strong faith whom the child can rely on for faith development in addition to his parents. Ideally it should be someone who will be known to the child throughout his childhood, and who will provide spiritual assistance. The godparents should be present for the child's first sacraments, give him his first bible, etc. Again ideally, the godparent will serve as the child's confirmation sponsor. It's much more common that "godparent" becomes an honorary term, and the child is likely to have virtually no contact with them. In my own case, I met my godmother once, and never met my godfather. When we chose godparents for my daughter, we offended many people by choosing my brother and my oldest niece, and bypassed my wife's sister and many in her family. My brother and niece practiced their faith (and still do) and have been a continuing presence in my daughter's life. I think we chose well.
For a confirmation sponsor, we let my daughter choose, and she chose someone who's faith she admired. They have remained in touch.
When people join the Church as adults, they often don't know anyone, so the parish assigns someone to them. Sometimes they don't even meet until the Rite of Election. I have stood as sponsor for several people, and I am still in touch with all of them. When my daughter's fiance decided to become Catholic, she and I stood as his godparents, and even though they broke up more than a decade ago, we both take that responsibility seriously and we are still in touch with him today. I think his wife finally accepts that they speak on the phone at least once a week, but her commitment to him is still important to both of them. (I do NOT recommend a girl being her boyfriend's sponsor, but he didn't know any other Catholics, so I let them talk me into it.)
Having said that, I'm afraid I also must say that any godparent is better than no godparent. Baptism should not be withheld from the child for lack of a godparent. If necessary, ask the parish for recommendations, but take a little time to get to know the godparents and to let them get to know the child. Who knows, they might well turn out to be someone you want to be part of the child's life, like a foster grandparent. A childless couple might also be a good choice as they will cherish your child, and they might well turn out to be excellent babysitters!
____________________
Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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