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Steve Neubauer
Member
| Joined: | Wed Jun 25th, 2008 |
| Location: | Alpine, Texas USA |
| Posts: | 1 |
| First Name: | Steve | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Baptized Catholic as a baby, Moravian, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 04:33 pm |
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My Journey to Jesus
by
Steve Neubauer
I come to you a humble man with a story to share about totally undeserved gift of grace from God.
I was born on born July 29, 1952 and just a few weeks later, was baptized into the Catholic faith. My dad was Catholic as were my grandparents, aunts, and uncles; however, my dad was a fallen away Catholic. My mother was raised Baptist, but to her credit, she encouraged me to attend services at a local Christian Moravian church. I went to Sunday school nearly every week until I was twelve. I went to vacation Bible school every summer, and even sang in the choir. One Christmas during these years I asked my mom for a Bible for Christmas, which I read cover to cover and prayed that one day that I might be a minister.
I very fondly remember my pastor Reverend Housman as wonderful, warm, and loving man who always had a kind word, an embracing smile, and time for us kids. He and the Sunday school teachers taught me the love of Jesus; that everyone has the power to read and interpret the Bible for themselves; and that we must help the less fortunate. These works of charity made a big impression on me. We often gathered food, clothes, toys, and money and sent it off to the missions. I always felt proud to be associated with these projects.
I also remember going to Mass at a local Catholic Church four or five times as a kid. I can’t remember the exact circumstances but it might have been because my cousin, Father Richard Cleary, was the celebrant.
By the time I reached age twelve, I just didn’t want to go anymore. Somehow the Church just didn’t have anything to say to me. Eventually, my mom tired of all my complaints stopped hassling me about it. I was free! And I put Church out of my life. However, I often prayed and talked with God throughout my life.
Over the years I became a deist and prided myself on seeing God in His creation and saying that I believed in God but just didn’t need to go to church. I was above all that sort of nonsense. After all, I had a personal relationship with God. Basically, I believed that God had created the universe and governed it through His natural laws, and that science through observation, reasoning, and experimentation slowly revealed more and more of the hows and whys of His creation. I held these beliefs for several decades.
I lived my teen years during the 1960s surrounded by friends who immersed themselves in sex, drugs, rock and roll, and Vietnam War protesting. Somehow God gave me the grace to rise above all that and I stayed focused on my studies and stayed out of trouble.
An incident during those years left me with a great deal of puzzlement. I was stabbed, but not severely, while swimming in a community swimming pool. What always mystified me and my friends about it was my reaction. I was overcome with an incredible feeling of sadness for the boy who had stabbed me.
All my buddies kept asking, “Didn’t you get mad? Didn’t you want to punch his lights out?”
But no, I just felt profoundly sad and concerned that a terrible life awaited this boy. God had given me the grace of forgiveness of and sadness for another’s sin. However, I didn’t understand or appreciate these gifts until my RCIA training this past year.
After graduating college with a teaching degree I married my beautiful wife Joan, a “cradle Catholic,” in Saint Anne’s Catholic Church on June 29, 1974, in Bristol, Pennsylvania. We went on to have three lovely children whom Joan made sure learned about the faith. They each were baptized, received their First Holy Communion, and were Confirmed. I’m ashamed to confess that she did this with no support from me. I just wasn’t interested. However, during these years, once again God called me to read the Bible. I did but made no changes to my life after the experience.
As my children grew I continued as a deist and believed I could make my life pretty much whatever I chose to make of it. God wasn’t a part of my life other than when I marveled at His creation.
I went to work for IBM, worked hard at climbing the corporate ladder, and held some fairly influential jobs along the way. At one point I was in charge of the development schedule of IBM’s portion of the NASA’s International Space Station; pretty heady stuff rubbing shoulders with astronauts, engineers, and scientists who had put men on the moon. At another time, I was the division senior competitive market intelligence person and IBM sent me to earn a Master’s degree in the Study of the Future at the University of Houston at Clear Lake.
I don’t remember asking God for any assistance during all this time or thanking Him for much of anything all these years. I just didn’t think of Him as part of my everyday life.
Now jump forward to August 17, 2002. My father, Frank Neubauer, died. On that day, not only did my mother lose the love of her life and her husband of 62 years, but the devastating blow came on her 78th birthday. None of us could understand why God would take my dad on such a day. At that point, we knew that my mother couldn’t stay alone in her house in Florida, so my wife and I brought her to our home to live in Texas for the next four-and-a-half years.
These were tough years for my mom because she missed my dad terribly as did I. She often asked why she was still alive. After all, nearly all of her friends had passed on, all her siblings were gone, and she had no husband, her constant companion for all those years.
I often told her, “God must have something yet for you to do.”
Honestly, I said this more to console her than out of any strong belief on my part.
In late October of 2006, we rushed my mother to the hospital. During the next week, doctors performed a variety of tests and we learned that she had pancreatic cancer. My wife and I brought her home to die peacefully in her own bed. We tended to her needs and kept her as comfortable as possible. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
Two weeks before she died, she asked if we would help her convert from the Baptist faith to Catholicism. Wow! What a shock! Mom hadn’t attended church in many decades. What a moment of great joy for my wife. To me it just seemed odd, but if that’s what she wanted, I wouldn’t stand in her way.
We called Our Lady of Peace Catholic Church in Alpine, Texas and asked to speak with a priest. Escolastica, the church secretary, put us through to Father Mike Alcuino. We told him our situation and he said he’d come out to the house to see her.
When Father Mike arrived, he went to Mom’s room and spent the next hour or so with her behind closed doors. During that time, I wandered about the house, and eventually ended up standing in our kitchen.
Suddenly, I felt a lightning bolt course through my body and I had to grip the countertop with both hands to keep from falling. It was the most amazing and overpowering experience of my life. I was completely overcome by a supernatural feeling of love, compassion, and incredible joy that I knew had come from God. After a few minutes, it slowly left and I composed myself. In that moment, everything in my life changed.
Too timid to tell Father Mike, my wife, or my mom what had happened, I kept it to myself. However, I knew at that moment that I must pursue Jesus with all my heart.
For the next two weeks, I stayed in my mother’s room nearly every minute, and slept on the floor next to her bed so I could care for her. I told her many times how much I loved her and how much I’d miss her. I told her I was truly sorry for anything I had ever done to cause her pain. She smiled and said that I had never done anything wrong. I know this wasn’t true, but Mom was gracious to the end.
Often, Joan insisted that I leave and get some better rest while she took over the duties. I couldn’t have made it without her. We continued to care for Mom and early on the morning of Saturday, November 18, 2006 as my wife Joan and I held her in our arms, she gasped her last breath with tears in her eyes while we recited The Lord’s Prayer. She went from our arms to Jesus’ in a blink of an eye.
After the initial grief passed and the mortician had taken away her body, I knew that I had to turn my attention to God. I said to Joan, “Let’s go to Mass tonight.”
This took her by surprise but she took my hand, smiled, and said, “Sure let’s go.”
We’ve gone every Sunday and every Holy Day of Obligation since.
As we left that first Mass, Joan asked me what I thought about it.
I said, “I found it very comforting. All my dead relatives were there. How could that be?”
She smiled knowingly but didn’t explain anything.
The Mass totally confused me and I asked her, “How does everyone know what to do, when to kneel and stand, and what to say? What does it all mean?”
She recommended that I get a book about the Mass and learn. I did this, and about two weeks later as I read and studied, my jaw dropped open. The book explained the concept of the Communion of Saints and their presence at Mass. I already knew this from experience, but now I knew the term for it! What a magical moment! With renewed zeal I studied and learned about the Mass and now I know what’s going on and why. Or at least I think I do.
During this time I learned about RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) classes and how they’d help me become a Catholic in full communion with the Church. I went to the church office to enroll but learned that I needed my Baptismal certificate, something I didn’t have. My parents had told me that I’d been baptized Catholic but I didn’t have a clue where. Also, my godparents and any relatives who might be able to tell me about it were dead. So I started calling churches in Pennsylvania near where we lived at the time, and after several dead ends, found that I had been baptized at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Catholic Church in Doylestown, Pennsylvania. Then I discovered that I was baptized on August 17, 1952, on my mother’s birthday and 50 years to the day before my father died. I now believe this is why God took my dad on my mom’s birthday. He wanted me to see how important my baptism was. Again it all just seemed too magical for belief.
I continued to study and read books about Catholicism and over the next few months I made over 700 study cards from the RCIA text books. I’ve learned every one of them and continue to study them every day. Then I leaned about an upcoming ACTS retreat from Robert Polanco during the announcements after Mass one Sunday. I thought great, this should be a wonderful way to learn more and perhaps create 40 or 50 new study cards.
Just prior to going to the ACTS retreat, Joan taught me about the concept of “offering up,” something to someone who might be in Purgatory. I thought what a wonderful warm and loving thing to do. So I prayed to God and offered up the ACTS retreat to my father, Frank Neubauer.
On the first day of the retreat, one of the team members walked up to me, shook my hand, read my name badge which clearly said Steve Neubauer, and said, “Nice to meet you, Frank Neubauer.” Then with a look of confusion on his face, he reread the tag, and said, “No, your badge says Steve Neubauer. Why did I say Frank Neubauer?”
Tears welled in my eyes, but I was too timid to explain the miraculous moment.
The ACTS retreat continued for the next two days, and hour by hour I came to truly know Jesus for the first time. The power of the retreat is something only attendees can understand. By the end, I had only made four new cards, but I had experienced the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit in a way infinitely more powerful than study cards. I recognized the cards as a necessary step, one that enabled me to ready myself for the magic of meeting Jesus for the first time.
During the final moments of the retreat as I waited for a car to take me to the church on that Sunday morning, I found myself standing next to Father Anthony Amoko-Attah. We were the last two retreatants.
He turned to me, and with a look of a sage prophet said, “I’m willing to go, but I don’t want to leave.” He had uttered the very thought that I found myself unable to express.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, God lifted me to dizzying heights. After the retreat my wife smiled at me brightly with more love than I had ever seen before, even brighter than on our wedding day 34 years ago. I remarked that I had never seen such a glow on her face.
Joan replied, “Do you want to know why?”
I said, “Of course.”
“Well you might not remember this but nearly 30 years ago, you read a book by Isaac Asimov about the Bible. After you finished, I asked you what you thought and you told me that Jesus was an interesting man, but you didn’t think he was the Son of God. On that day I began a daily prayer to God to help you discover the love of Jesus.”
Chills coursed through body and we embraced in a long, tear-filled hug. Thinking of her praying for me every day for 29 years was a gift I’m truly not worthy of.
Since that day, I have completed my RCIA training, for which I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my pastor Father Mike Alcuino, Father Anthony Amoko-Attah, my RCIA instructors Carol Morrow, Lisa Ivey, my wife Joan, and Robert Polanco for shouldering the burden of directing that marvelous ACTS retreat. This team helped me understand the doctrinal truths of Catholicism. Father Anthony also taught me to pray the Liturgy of the Hours which is a great daily blessing. I’ve gone to Confession, received my first Holy Communion at this year’s Easter Vigil, and was confirmed by Bishop Armando in Pecos, Texas on June 7th, 2008, at Santa Rosa Catholic Church in Pecos Texas.
* * *
Thus, as a humble man I hope I can encourage others to reach out to Jesus. I know they will find his welcoming arms. I know if they carefully examine their lives they will also find instances where he reached out and they turned their back like me. Thank you Jesus for bringing me home when I wasn’t even trying to get there. And thank you all for letting me share the journey with you.
____________________
Steve Neubauer
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CajunRick
Network Helper
| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Houma, Louisiana USA |
| Posts: | 5350 |
| First Name: | Rick (& Kermie) | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lifetime Catholic, Latin Rite |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 05:17 pm |
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That's quite a story, Steve. Thanks for sharing it with us, and welcome to the forum.
I worked as a hospice chaplain for awhile, and was involved in conversions similar to your mother's. It is a great joy to know that we were able to fulfill their final wish to join the fullness of the Catholic faith, and that now they are part of the unending chorus of the Church Triumphant, eternally praising God and praying for those of us still on the journey.
We'll be looking forward to your participation on the forum.
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Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. - Augustine
Rick Luquette
Luquette Lane
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Intercessor
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Southcentral, Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 1233 |
| First Name: | Becky | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Southern Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 05:36 pm |
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Steve, welcome to the CHNI forum! Your story was a blessing.
Hope you will enjoy participating in the forum here.
Grace and peace,
Becky
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"The perfection of a soul may be measured by the degree to which it does the will of God, and finds its happiness in doing it.... O my God,...the only thing necessary is Your holy will," Divine Intimacy, pp. 15-16 Father Gabriel, O.C.D.
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Dave Armstrong
Network Apologist
| Joined: | Fri Nov 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Melvindale, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 1644 |
| First Name: | Dave | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Evangelical (1977): Diverse Protestant Influences / Catholic in 1990 |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 06:17 pm |
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| A warm welcome to you, Steve. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm sure it will be a blessing to many.
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I'm happy to offer whatever theological & personal assistance I can. My blog, Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, contains 2000+ papers & web pages (absolutely free) & 16 apologetic books (for sale):
http://www.biblicalcatholic.com/
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Credo Catholic
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| Joined: | Sat May 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Greenville, South Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 1389 |
| First Name: | Marsha | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Baptist, Catholic |
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Posted: Wed Jun 25th, 2008 06:33 pm |
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| Thank you for sharing your awesome story. It is remarkable, the way you found "signs" along the way, and your wife was so supportive. Welcome to the forum, I look forward to your comments. God bless
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Pani Rose
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| Joined: | Fri Oct 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Irondale, Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 544 |
| First Name: | Rose | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Ruthenian Byzantine in a Melkite Greek Catholic Parish, raised ... |
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 04:36 am |
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  please pass the tissues!
God bless you brother. And welcome home!!!
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kersca
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| Joined: | Fri May 23rd, 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 60 |
| First Name: | Adam | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Lutheran-Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 11:17 am |
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Steve,
Wow, what a story. My Grandmother became Catholic on her deathbed as well. When I read it, my eyes welled up in tearas. Thank you. I will pray for the soul of your mother this morning. You can, if you wish, pray for my long departed grandmother Evelyn. Their faith, so close to their death, served as a wittness to us.
Adam
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JillD
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| Joined: | Fri Sep 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Visalia, California USA |
| Posts: | 760 |
| First Name: | Jill | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | heathen, EvFree, Messianic, LC-MS, Catholic 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 02:10 pm |
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I am very encouraged by your story, Steve. Thank you for sharing it with us. And welcome to this forum! 
Jill
____________________
"I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are our works! My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret." Ps 139
"Guard me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men." Ps 140
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Ave_Girl
Moderator
| Joined: | Wed Nov 7th, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 171 |
| First Name: | Mary Clare | | Gender: | Female | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 03:02 pm |
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| Welcome to the forum Steve! It's good to have you here.
____________________
~Mary Clare Piecynski~
Coming Home Network Staff
740-450-1175 ext 105
maryp@chnetwork.org
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tedjenczewski
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| Joined: | Thu May 10th, 2007 |
| Location: | Richmond, Virginia USA |
| Posts: | 262 |
| First Name: | Ted | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Catholic, Presbyterian, revert Catholic |
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Posted: Thu Jun 26th, 2008 07:52 pm |
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| Thanks be to God Steve, your witness to the truth encourages me. Welcome to the forum. Blessed be God, Blessed be His Holy Name. Our joy is made manifest. We celebrate your return along with all the angels and saints in heaven.
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"...the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth." 1Tim 3, 15
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TerminalNewEnglander
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| Joined: | Mon Jan 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Rhode Island USA |
| Posts: | 48 |
| First Name: | Bill | | Gender: | Male | | Faith History: | Cradle Catholic; Lapsed Catholic; quasi-UCC; Reverted Catholic. |
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Posted: Sat Jun 28th, 2008 10:10 pm |
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Awesome...
My reversion occurred on my devout Catholic parents' 51st wedding anniversary. I am their oldest child.
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